Dulcolax Stadium looked like…well…an overflowing toilet bowl. It started drizzling just before the first pitch and rained on and off for most of the night. As the game progressed however, the storm intensified and the game appeared to be called off at any moment. After Tom Glavine SS put in seven innings of good work, the Spartans saw their rather rusty bullpen surrender the lead and the score was even at 3-3 by the end of regulation. At that time the heavens opened up and torrential downpours turned the field into a muddy swamp. The rain was so intense that the bullpens filled up with water and became like swimming pools. Lightning flashed and players and fans alike scurried away for cover…with the exception of former Bobian Lance Berkman, who was in attendance and cannon balled into the flooded home team bullpen and was later seen repeatedly dunking his old drinking buddy Chris Mears. Fortunately the field is equipped with a “flush” function that minimized water damage, however the question still remains as to how to handle an interrupted game. Should the teams call it a tie? Should they continue the extra innings some other time? Or should the whole thing just be settled by a good old fashioned pie eating contest? The question will be settled this week when the commissioner meets with general managers Ronde Barber and Ishmael von Corrin.
War of Words Part 2…Lord Sinister Ups the Ante
After Maxion centerfielder Richie Ashburn was vindicated for predicting a Bomber win over the Z-Slayers, Lord Sinister angrily replied that his team had been “ripped off” and that there was “zero chance” for a Maxion sweep. “If he’s so confident,” said Ashburn, “how about a little wager? If we lose, I’ll dye my hair pink for the rest of the season. And hell, even the post season too, if we make it. But if the Z-Slayers lose…then I want this mysteriously silent Lord Sith to have a sit down interview with John Kruk!” When this was presented to Sinister, he didn’t even hesitate. “Of course. Hope you like hot pink, Richie, you always struck me as a bit of a fruit.” Later in the day, Z-Slayers second baseman Ken Harvey was reportedly fined by the team due to making comments aloud about how interesting that interview would actually be, saying that he himself had never heard Sith speak. Z-Slayers management went on to label this as a “disciplinary action.”
First Home Run Derby Rules Proposed
The Commissioner has proposed rules for the first ever home run derby to be held in between the end of the regular season and the start of the postseason. The top 10 or 12 home run hitters in the league will compete across four rounds, with each round consisting of twenty pitches. There will be a cumulative running total throughout each round, with 5 or 6 players eliminated after round 1, then 2 or 3 eliminated after round 2, 1 more eliminated in round 3, and then a final one-on-one round. This week the commissioner will propose this to the owners with the hope of having the rules made official next week.
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