Series 6 Part 3: John Kruk called it!

RED 3, STL 5 F

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9
RED	0	0	2	1	0	0	0	0	0
STL	0	0	0	0	3	0	2	0	0

W – Veres (2-0)                   L – Harper (0-1)                    Save – Isringhausen (3)

Props to John Kruk, for pretty much predicting exactly how this game would go. Cardinals starter Matt Morris seemed to recover nicely from his last start, a nightmare from which he didn’t even finish one inning. All told he did rather well, earning a quality start although just narrowly. The Aces struck first in the third, with a big hit from Alfonso Soriano, a two run triple. The Aces were not able to bring Soriano home from third, which would go on to haunt them later. Next inning the Aces offense carried on with another two out rally, with Tom Goodwin doubling in his second RBI of the year. With ever reliable Ben Sheets cruising, it looked like just about everything was going the Aces way, when Cardinals firstbaseman Orlando Cepeda tied the game with one swing of the bat, a three run homer off Sheets in the fifth. The Aces stranded runners in scoring position in both the sixth and seventh innings, including a bases loaded no outs jam that reliever Dave Veres was able to work out of thanks to a key double play. Cepeda stepped to the plate again in the seventh and hit his second home run of the game off of Red Clay reliever Travis Harper. Those proved to be the winning runs, as Jason Isringhausen 04 then entered the game and pitched two innings to earn his third save of the year. As Kruk called it, this was a big opportunity for the Cardinals to split a very difficult series; they’ve avoided being swept since the very first series of the season against MMD. This certainly keeps the pressure on the rest of the teams in Division 2, including the Aces who are now only two games up on the third place Cardinals.
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ZSY 2, AXN 1 F/11

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	11
ZSY	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	1
AXN	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	0

W – Graves (1-0)    L – Kolb (0-1)  

The miracle story of the Z-Slayers pitching staff continues; Zach Day, a control 2 starter whose salary is one fifth what most starters make in the league, went six strong innings completely shutting out the hapless Darkpaw offense. Incredibly, his performance ties him for the league lead in quality starts. Although he pitched very well, he did have some help from Darkpaw batters who couldn’t seem to do much of anything right, rolling many outs on their own cards. His opponent, Kerry Wood 02, was equally as effective, doing an excellent job of navigating through a very dangerous Z-Slayer lineup without giving up any runs through seven. Thus began a battle of the bullpens; Darkpaw reliever Satoru Komiyama struggled in the top of the eighth, eventually walking in Paul Lo Duca for the first score of the game. To Komiyama’s credit, he got out of the jam without any further bloodshed. Z-Slayer long reliever Ricardo Rincon stalled also in the bottom of the inning, unable to contain the bottom of the Darkpaw lineup; Mike Lieberthal doubled, moving firstbaseman Brad Fullmer to third, setting him up to score when leadoff man Omar Vizquel singled next at bat. But here too, the bleeding stopped at a single run. Komiyama and Rincon both finished their respective parts of the ninth without incident, each then handing over the game to their team’s closer. Danny Kolb and Danny Graves both dominated in the tenth, but the eleventh inning was much more interesting. Carl Crawford leadoff for the Z-Slayers with a single, and in true Luis Aparicio style rounded the bases all the way to third with two clutch stolen bases. The always reliable Jack Wilson later brought him home with an RBI single, his tenth of the year. The Darkpaws managed to put up a fight in the bottom of the inning, loading the bases with two outs. Danny Graves stayed in the game to face Ken Griffey Jr. 04; with a full count, Graves managed to pop him up and seal the win and the sweep for Tuldaria. Both teams look forward to interesting matchups next week; the Z-Slayers will host the struggling Tycoons, while the Alyxians will travel to Melmegetia to take on Dr. Vindaloo’s marauders. 

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TEN 0, MAX 11      F

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9
TEN	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
MAX	0	0	0	6	0	2	0	3	0

W - Franklin (1-2)          L - Ishii (1-1)

Just when you thought the Green Sox were getting back on track, they find a way to reach a new low. Kazushisa Ishii had looked excellent in his two previous starts, but that changed abruptly in the fourth inning, where the Bombers put together their biggest rally of the year: Richie Ashburn kicked things off with a bases loaded double, was followed by Corey Koskie collecting his first RBI of the year (you read that correctly), and Edgar Martinez RBI double (his team leading 9th of the year), and finally Jeff "Automatic Hit" Kent knocking in another two with a big double. Ishii stayed in the game, but did not survive two pitches into the sixth when Jeff Kent struck again with a big blast, expanding the lead to 8-0. For the Bombers, starter Ryan Franklin was absolutely brilliant in this one, going 1-2-3 in nearly every inning, hearkening back to the days in season 3 when he won four games. He finished the game only giving up seven hits, and would have had a notable achievement if it weren't for a small string of hits that the Green Sox had finally string together in the ninth, smothered anyway before they could break up the shutout. Bengie "Don't Make Fun of My Speed" Molina lead the charge in the eight for the Bombers, adding three more runs to rub salt in the wound. While the most the Bombers can say is that they've avoided a ten game losing streak, the loss is much more significant for the Green Sox ball club. The offense has cooled considerably of late and you can't help by feel that they've lost a step on their "clogged artery" (as Ronde Barber termed it) competitors of Division 2. They face the grueling task of hosting Meow Meow Dui next round.

BREAKING NEWS: Z-SLAYERS ON THE VERGE OF BANKRUPTCY: SEEKING NEW OWNER

In the wake of last week’s explosion at Z-Slayer Park, another bombshell has been figuratively dropped on the Tuldarian franchise; the ball club is tottering on the edge of bankruptcy. Once the emergency personnel finished their work and talks began to progress about repairs, drama unraveled within the Z-Slayers finance department; several managers had been severely cooking the books to cover up embezzlement and fraud. As a result, the team not only doesn’t have the money to complete repairs on their stadium, but doesn’t have enough to cover operating expenses due at the end of the month. The corrupt managers will be brought before a court of law, but this still leaves the team in the lurch. Their only solution is to find a new investor who can provide enough capital to take ownership of the organization. The rumor mill has been churning out names of all sorts of possible candidates who might be willing to sink a whole lot of money into the ailing team; the two biggest names mentioned have been Ishmael von Corrin, founder of the general store chain as well as the Red Clay Aces, and Sebastian Piniera, the Chilean billionaire and former president of that country. The word on the street is that von Corrin wants it more, possibly to transfer players to his team; rumor also had it several weeks ago that the Aces had attempted to trade for Kip Wells to replace their struggling Mark Buerhle. In any case, von Corrin would need to convince the commissioner to allow him to directly own two teams in the league, which would probably prove to be quite difficult. In addition to Piniera, there’s also been talk of a third possible investor, one who has “a long history with Tuldaria.” No word yet on how credible that piece of gossip has been. In any case, the decision needs to be made soon…time is running out, financially.

Series 6 Part 2: Battle of Cats, Halo Cards, and Bionic Gophers

MAX 2, TEN 5  F

                  1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9
MAX        0              0              1              0              1              0              0              0              0
TEN          0              0              0              1              1              0              3              0              0          

W – Beckett (2-0)                L - Daal (0-2)             S - Foulke (3)

Both teams were desperately thirsty for a win in this one, although neither team by any means brought their A-game; there were so many stranded runners that the game frequently had the appearance of a casting call for the TV show Lost. Which is all the more ironic since most of the scoring early on came off of solo homeruns: Magglio Ordonez went deep in the fourth, J.D. Drew in the fifth, and Jeff "Not Really An Automatic Out Anymore" Kent also in the fifth. Incredibly enough, all of these players RBIs so far this year have come from solo homeruns. Up to that point in the game, the only manufactured run had came for the Bombers in the third, when Richie Ashburn singled in his sixth run of the season. As stated already, almost every inning became a comedy of errors for the hitting team, rolling awful numbers on hitters cards and hitting into stupid double plays. The worst example came in the sixth inning when the Bombers loaded the bases, but failed to score a run. Omar Daal ran into trouble in the seventh, and his bullpen could not bail him out, eventually surrendering a bases loaded double to Steve Finley, who was recently moved to the end of the batting order. Willie Harris followed Finley's big hit with a single to knock in another run. Unfortunately the runs were tagged to Daal, giving him the loss and preventing him from achieving his first quality start of the year. The Bombers got runners on second and third with only one out in the eighth, but again could not capitalize. Workhouse closer Keith Foulke slammed the door shut in the ninth with a 1-2-3 to secure a badly needed win for the flailing Green Sox and condemning the Bombers to their ninth straight loss. Overall a difficult game to watch, with both teams demonstrating very sloppy play.
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AXN 3, ZSY 7  F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9
AXN       0              0              0              1              0              0              1              1              0
ZSY        0              1              3              0              2              0              1              0              0             

W – Hernandez (2-0)                L - Wood 04 (0-3)             

The Darkpaws performed similar to the Bombers in the game before them; leaving runners in scoring position left and right. Omar Vizquel lead off the game with a lead off triple, but the heart of the Darkpaw lineup could not bring him home. They left runners in scoring position in the third, fourth, seventh, and eighth. Not so for the Z-Slayers, who had Kerry Wood 04 on the run for most of the night. Strong games were put out by Juan Pierre (4-4, with an RBI triple), Albert Pujols (2 RBIs, for a league leading 13 on the season), Ken Harvey (1 RBI, but hit 3 doubles after having moved to bat fifth in the lineup), and Ralph Kiner (HR, 2B, 3 RBI). The wind had seemed to leave the sails of the Darkpaws once the score hit 7-1, but they pepped up a bit when they got some help from very uncharacteristic defensive mishaps from Jack Wilson in the 7th and 8th, both of which resulted in Darkpaw scores. Wilson said later that reading ground balls on Tuldaria Memorial High School field was exceptionally difficult when the tycoon gophers woke up halfway through the game and began to burrow their way towards third base. Z-Slayer starter Runelvys Hernandez didn't look exactly stellar, but he did finish eight innings while still earning the quality start (his tied for league leading 3rd) and his second win of the year. As for the Darkpaws, this loss brings them back to reality after their sweeping of the Bombers. Oh well. It was good while it lasted.  
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MMD 3, LIN 0  F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9
MMD      2              0              0              0              1              0              0              0              0
LIN         0              0              0              0              0              0              0              0              0             

W – Schilling (3-0)                L - Schoenweiss (0-2)              S - Hammond (1)

The Meow Meow offense got to scoring right away, with RBI team leader Gregg Zaun going long for two in the top of the first. Both team's starters were relatively solid in this one, with both team's defense very much on point, turning a few double plays that squashed several scoring opportunities. One of those opportunities solidified into another score for Meow Meow when Gregg Zaun singled in second baseman Mark Ellis, accounting for all the RBIs in this game. Lindsyan starter Scott Schoenweiss struggled at times, but did earn his second quality start of the season. Dui starter Curt Schilling continued his excellent season but was perhaps not exactly as sharp as his past performances. Dui fans were in for a bit of a scare when the Cy Young candidate
was suddenly pulled by Coach Taklamente in the seventh, seemingly without reason. Murmurs spread throughout the stadium about a possible injury, but those murmurs turned into stunned silence when Taklamente handed the ball over to reliever Chris Hammond, despite the availability of a few better arms in the bullpen. Hammond went 1-2-3 in the eighth, but nevertheless shocked the Lindsyan fans once again by coming out to pitch the ninth. He struggled in his second inning of work, but managed to finish out the inning and earn his first career save. After the game Coach Taklamente denied any rumors of a Schilling injury. "I took him out because he earned some rest. I sent him to the spa." When asked about the strange use of middle reliever Chris Hammond to earn a two inning save while Foulke and Miceli were both available, Taklamente said "We didn't need them. I knew Chris was able to do it. It worked out, so I was right, wasn't I?" Hard to argue with that logic, especially when it has given fruit to a 7-3 record. With the Spartans and Z-Slayers both winning the first game of their series, the breakup of the logjam at the top of Division 1 is nowhere in sight.  

SPECIAL REPORT: Explosion at Z-Slayers Park!

TULDARIA - As players arrived at Z-Slayer Park on Wednesday afternoon, a loud thundering noise sent stadium workers and fans running scared. When the asbestos laden dust began to settle, it became apparent that the bleacher section out in right centerfield had been totally demolished.  Rumors had been circulating since the beginning of the season that the integrity of Z-Slayer Park had not been officially confirmed after the bombing runs during the Zachrian wars. To the embarrassment of the Z-Slayers, this unfortunate event has proven the rumors to be true. Investigators quickly determined that the blast had been caused by a Zachrian bomb that did not explode upon impact when it was dropped on the stadium, and somehow ended up being built over when the bleacher section was reconstructed last summer. It’s widely reported now that the explosive device was triggered when a concessions agent had ventured under the seating area in search of a mythical Oreo stash, that has reportedly been used during games by hooligans as throwing ammo against centerfielders from opposing teams. Miraculously, the concessions agent survived the blast, protected by a concrete section that fell over him and shielded him from the brunt of it. In fact, there were no other casualties directly from the explosion; the only reported injuries came from a group of visiting Darkpaw fans who in their panic unwittingly ran into the parking lot, where they were soon made unconscious by that notorious cloud of Zachrian gas. Because of unlucky winds, the cloud has now expanded so that rescue workers are still unable to reach the unfortunate (in more ways than one) Alyxians. The Old Man in the Cave, the commissioner, has announced that a full investigation will be forthcoming to see if there was any wrongdoing on the part of the Z-Slayers. In the meantime, yesterday’s scheduled game between the Darkpaws and Z-Slayers has been rescheduled for tomorrow night. It has been arranged that the game will be played at Tuldaria Memorial High School, currently the only other baseball diamond in Tuldaria. The field is in excellent shape for a high school, but there has been some talk of an infestation of cyborg gophers tunneling around second base – presumably leftovers from the Tycoon War. In any case, stay tuned for further updates and breaking news.  

Series 6: The Beginning of a key divisional round

QEY 2, BOB 4 F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9

QEY        0              2              0              0              0              0              0              0              0           

BOB        0              2              0              0              0              0              0              0              1              

W – Halladay (2-0)                L - Lowe (1-3)

With multiple streaks on the line, Roy Halladay took the mound in his second career performance, having also to live up to his one hitter debut against the Darkpaws. He stumbled a bit out of the gate, getting out of a jam thanks to a very clutch double play turned by the always reliable glove of Luis Aparicio. But that also couldn't help Halladay escape from Edgardo Alfonzo taking him deep for two scores in the top of the second. Travis Hafner, a hot hitter of late, responded immediately in the bottom of the inning with a two run homer of his own. After that, Halladay and Rodgers both were in top form, not really running into any danger whatsoever. Rodgers was excellent through seven, before giving way to long reliever Sean Lowe in the eighth. Halladay, clearly upset at allowing the first runs for the Bobians in four games, was powered by rage to still hit top speeds on his fastball in the ninth inning, and looked ready to pitch even more, if it weren't for the Spartan bats coming alive in the bottom of the ninth. Marcus Giles has struggled mightily throughout the season, but has always seemed to come up with clutch hits. In the same style in which he helped his team win their first game of the season with a three run shot, he helped his team walk off with a two run homer off Lowe. With this win, the Spartans extend their win and quality start streak to record levels, and pad their division lead further. A rough loss for the fifth place Warriors, who are trying to turn around their season. It was a good effort by Rodgers, but the offense will need to be a bit more potent if they want to walk away with a split series in Game 2.
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STL 3, RED 4 F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9

STL         2              0              0              0              1              0              0              0              0           

RED        0              0              0              0              0              0              1              3              0              

W – Quantril (1-0)      L - Springer (1-1)      Blown Save - Springer (1)    Save - Wagner (3)  


The Zachrian Redbirds got off to an excellent start, with firstbaseman Orlando Cepeda hitting his second home run of the year off Red Clay starter Josh Fogg. Fogg settled down after that, only surrendering another run in the fifth, when Edgar Rentaria doubled in second baseman Fernando Vina. Interesting to note that that was Renteria's 8th RBI of the season, which ties him for the team lead with Larry Walker. For the Cardinals, Darren Oliver put up an excellent effort, only getting into serious trouble in the second, but bailed out by a crucial double play by a team that has three golden gloves in the infield. He stumbled in the seventh when the Aces finally put together a rally, but the bleeding was stopped quickly after one run when reliever Russ Springer entered the game. Reliever Paul Quantril entered the game for the Aces in the 8th, and just barely made it through the inning without surrendering  a run. In the bottom side, Springer allowed the tying run in the form of a Paul Konerko two run shot. Things went from bad to worse two batters later when Jason Giambi crushed a solo homerun over the right field wall, giving the Aces a one run lead. Both these hitters had been very cool before the inning, but I'm sure Ishmael von Corrin will take the power surge in the eighth inning all the same. Closer Billy Wager struggled uncharacteristically in the ninth, but managed to strike out Mark Grudzielanek with the bases loaded to end the game and earn his third save of the year. The come from behind win puts the Aces off to a good start in the series, bringing their overall record to an impressive 7-3. A tough loss for the Cardinals who will try to get a piece of the Aces in series two when they send Matt Morris to the mound to take on Ben Sheets.

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MEL 7, TYC 0 F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9

MEL        1              0              0              0              1              3              0              0              2           

 TYC         0              0              0              0              0              0              0              0              0 

W - Beckett (1-1)                   L - Penny (1-1)

How ill is the Tycoon offense? Try three straight games without scoring a single run! A key factor in extending this streak was the performance of Josh Beckett, who only gave up four hits in 7 and 1/3 innings of work. In this shutout effort, he becomes the first pitcher in Division 2 to reach three quality starts. The closest the Tycoons came to scoring was when Jason Giambi was originally awarded a homerun, but was called back when video evidence showed that the ball had sliced just foul over the pole. The Marauders offense put out an equally impressive effort, striking first with a Miguel Olivo solo homerun in the first, a Fred Mcgriff bases loaded walk in the fifth, and the real death blow coming when Brandon Larson hit his second homer of the season in the sixth. Tycoon starter Brad Penny had kept his pitch count low throughout the evening, which enabled him to make it all the way to the ninth, but was kicked ungracefully out of the game when Orlando Palmeiro knocked in two more runs to rub a little more salt in the wound. A big win for the Vindaloo's squad, who have definitely improved after a bad start to the season. Also highly encouraging is another great performance from Josh Beckett. With this win, Melmegetia is now in a dead heat for third place with the Cardinals and could pull to within one game back of 2nd place in the division with a win over the Tycoons next game. That about says it also for the Tycoons...if the Ghost Mao is panicked there were little signs of it during his press conference during which he leered silently at reporters before going to sleep on the podium. Hey Mao, anything to those rumors that you are scouting Edgar Martinez? 

The Kruk Bucket, Tax Return Christmas Edition

Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas and a Happy Kruk Bucket to all! Today I'm playing Santa here at JELLY QUEEN Arena, distributing free tax returns to the first 30,000 fans that show up here. Afterwards we'll be covering the much anticipated battle between the Lindsyans and her feline rivals Meow Meow Dui. Tell you what, I know what I'd be spending my tax return on...a mountain of the world famous Lindsayn Christmas Crambeau! You might be surprised at my choice there, but rest assured, I got my gift certificates to the Burger Palace covered on my Xmas list. Santa bats 1.000 for me, so no need to worry folks.

Speaking of high batting averages, an important piece of news came out this week. Edgar Martinez Jr., the son of the longtime Alyxian DH who was murdered by a mob of angry Zachrians during a game ten years ago, has now announced his free agency. Word on the street is that his asking salary is exceedingly high, but he's still attracted the attention of several teams. Rumors have it that the most interested parties were the Red Clay Aces, Mao's Tycoons, and the Alyxian Darkpaws, of whom his father played for. Because of the high price of this prospect, either team would have to move a lot of players around which wouldn't make it an immediately good fit for the Aces or Tycoons, who are both doing well now; the Darkpaws had just cleaned out house, so the timing for them isn't ideal either. But one thing is for sure, this news has caused the most buzz in the league since Cluckin Bell ended their discount for the press covering Ash Street Showdown.

Anyway, I got a few comments from some people around the league regarding where Martinez might end up.

"Trust me, we are evaluating this player very closely. We probably have more open cap space than any other team in the league AND we carry a sixth reliever. If we eventually decide that it makes sense to add Edgar to our roster, we will make that move as fast as we can." -Ishmael von Corrin, General Manager of the Red Clay Aces

"It's difficult to integrate this kind of player into an already established team. You really need to build one around him." -Ronde Barber, General Manger of the Spartans of Bobia

"We need him. He's the kind of player that can turn our season around. You know Mike [Cameron] and I would love to have us three Seattle Mariners batting 1, 2, and 3 again for the Darkpaws. If anyone could bring the glory days back to Alyxia, it would be us three." Ken Griffey Jr., CF Alyxian Darkpaws

"I've been crunching the numbers on this one, and to be honest, I think there's a distinct possibility that we might not see Martinez catch onto a team until the offseason. If that ends up being the case, I see him possibly being the centerpiece of one of the expansion teams, possibly the one for Cape Koresh, if that ends up materializing." -Al Leiter, Leit'em Up Roster Report correspondent.

So folks, I've been here talking tax policy all day, and I've already tired myself out talking about all this Edgar Martinez news. So I'll do a quick lightning round of my power rankings, and then its time to sample some of the Christmas Eve's Eve delicacies.

1. BOB (+1) six straight wins, nine straight quality starts, a rotation that gives the league nightmares, and an offense with the hottest hitter (Ichiro), the hottest baserunner (Luis Aparicio), and the highest hot sauce tolerance (Charles "Colon Cleaner CJ" Johnson), and I just don't see anyone slowing this team down. In the last few games, the second you give up a run to them, you essentially lose. This is going to be the most exciting pitching staff to watch in the entire league heading into the second half of the schedule. I'm just really impressed; I know I'm repeating myself, but you really can't sing GM Ronde Barber's praises loud enough...at this point, at least.

2. RED (-1) Bit of a tough series against Meow Meow Dui, but the downgrade here is really just because the Spartans have come on so strong. With the Tycoons getting swept, the Aces again sit at the top of Division 2. This next series against the Cardinals is an important one; a strong performance would firmly entrench them as the inter-divisional counterpart to the Spartans. If they should stumble here, that would send Division 2 into looking even more like plate of spaghetti shot up several times by a shotgun.

3. ZSY (0) Well, we know the offense works well. But how much longer can this team put up Cy Young like pitching performances? Really they've only had serious issues with their 4th starter, as the other 3 have racked up 6 quality starts. Rumors keep floating around that they are looking to beef up the offense further, but what could the possibly improve on? And where would they be getting the money? In any case, golden opportunity to pick up some wins as the Darkpaws come to play in the still worse for wear Z-Slayer Park.

4. MMD (0) Just when you open your mouth to criticize this team's offense, they go ahead and beat down the Aces for 12 runs. So go figure. Huge matchup here this week though against the Lindsyans; they're both clawing (no pun intended) at a playoff spot in the highly competitive Division 1. I'm excited to see Curt Schilling take the mound this next game: he's 2-0 with two quality starts in both his appearances.


5. LIN (+2) Maybe this team has the highest morale in the league at the moment. Coming out with a hard fought sweep against the ascendant Marauders, Manny Ramirez and Rondell White continue steadily manufacturing runs while the veteran bullpen is clearly one of the best out there. But can they win the big games? They certainly have two big ones next against MMD, but a very easy schedule after that when the last place teams of both divisions come to town.

6. TYC (-1) Commence hate mail. But Tycoon fans, I got news for you. Your team got swept! Outscored 9-0 in their last two games! And you think I'm biased against them? Really people, what does this team have going for it? The offense has been drier than Mee Maw's Thanksgiving turkey.


7. STL (+2) Finally breaking out from the number 9 spot, I'm bumping this team up a few spots. They've only been swept once (by MMD way back in Series 1) and otherwise have been able to get a piece of every opponent they've faced. Lots of inconsistency here, that shouldn't be news to you, but there's certainly potential. Looking at the matchups, I think they'll maintain the number 3 spot in Division 2 despite a tough fight coming up against the Aces.

8. QEY (+2) Gotta say that these guys looked good this week, taking the Green Sox to task. But I still have to say that there are still a few open questions about this team, despite the fact that we are nearing the middle of the season. Its anybody's guess which bullpen shows up on any given game; Luis Castillo and Carlos Guillen both do not have a single RBI between them, none the less worrying because they are at the top of the Warrior order. Although this team has worked their way back to a respectable 4-5 record, they have the most brutal stretch of scheduling of many any team for the next four series: BOB, then RED, then ZSY, then TYC.

9. MEL (0) They took two losses to the Lindsyans, but they were "good" losses. They were only outscored by three runs, and both the offense and pitching is looking much better than how they did at the beginning of the season. Scott Rolen is starting to heat up, and is going to be toward the top of the leaderboards if he keeps up his current pace of RBIs and homeruns. This team has a tough road ahead and will be watching the Cardinals and Green Sox very closely. Of the three, the Marauders arguably have the most difficult matchup against the Tycoons. Dr. Vindaloo certainly gets credit for a novel approach, but I personally don't see how a replica of the Ganges River in the outfield will help.

10. TEN (-4) This team just can't seem to catch a break. After losing three straight games by just one run, they got taken to the cleaners by the Warriors in just a morale crushing loss. As John Kruk said, this team certainly has the ingredients for success, but something just isn't congealing right. The team hits a lot of homeruns, but their baserunners are so few that most of them go for solo shots. It also hasn't helped that Magglio Ordonez and former MVP J.D. Drew are both having their worst seasons of their career so far. This team certainly has a chance to get two much needed wins against the hapless Bombers, but you can really feel that the winds have entirely vacated this team's sails.

11. AXN (0) Woohoo! You swept the Bombers! But can you beat anyone else? Open question. I personally don't think they have a chance against the Z-Slayers next week. Either way, Hank Blalock has performed quite nicely since the team added him a few games ago, Enough to keep his job if Edgar Martinez is still available down the stretch?


12. MAX (0) Ouch. Swept by the Darkpaws. But to be honest, I think they might be able to pull an upset against the Green Sox. If there is any team that's more in need of a bacon flavored ice cream sundae, it might be them. Ah what the hell, I'll go ahead here and predict that they snap their eight game skid this series. I think most fans are still buying tickets for this team more to see if Ashburn can put together another all star season.

Well that's it for now folks. Hope you had a merry koreshmas and look forward to a happy new year! According to the Chinese Zodiac its going to be the Year of the Cordon Bleu, so I'm excited!

Series 5 Finale

AXN 5, MAX 4 F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9

AXN        0              0              0              0              5              0              0              0              0           

MAX       0              0              1              1              0              0              1              1              0              

W – Zito (2-0)                   L – Halladay (0-1)                  S – Kolb (3)

Both starters looked on point early. Longtime Darkpaw Barry Zito was nearly perfect before he gave up a solo homerun to Bengie "Don't Make Fun of My Speed" Molina in the third, and another solo homerun to Tony Clark in the fifth, his first RBI of the season. The Darkpaws responded with a 2 out rally in the fifth, culminating in a Hank Blalock three run shot. He has homered in his first two career games now, and otherwise had a very solid showing at the plate in this one, going 3-4 with a walk. Halladay settled down and pitched well through the eighth. Zito was replaced in the seventh by Satoru Komiyama who worked into a jam but managed to escape with giving up only one run. Coach Gorrister sent him out again in the eighth, and things began to get interesting when he immediately surrendered a solo homerun to Jeff "Automatic Out" Kent. This lead to a very tense bottom of the ninth, where Darkpaw closer was called upon to collect the save. Despite pitching in two straight games, he managed to earn his second straight save and third of the season. This is the second straight Darkpaw win of the season, their third overall of the season, and their first sweep. If there ever was an opponent to energize this team, it was the Bombers. We'll see if Blalock and crew can keep the momentum in a brutal matchup next week against the Z-Slayers. As for the Bombers, not much to say after an eigth straight loss. Richie Ashburn was 0-5 in this contest, a shame because it was Assburn Bobblehead Night at the stadium, which featured an innovated bobblehead design that bobbles also on the...er...assburned side...

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MEL 4, LIN 5       F/12

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7             8              9          10          11          12

MEL       0              3              0              1              0              0              0              0              0            0            0             0

LIN         4              0              0              0              0              0              0              0              0            0            0             1    

W – Nen (1-1)                   L – Pollitte (0-1)                 

This one looked like it was going to get ugly early for Moyer and the Marauders; the twin threat of the JERKY QUEEN offense struck powerfully in the bottom of the first with Manny Ramirez unleashing an RBI double that was immediately followed by Rondell White’s third homerun of the year, a three run shot. But Lindsyan ace Josh Beckett really struggled in the inning immediately succeeding, surrendering an ugly three run rally to the bottom half of the Marauder lineup. Scott Rolen tied things up for the Marauders in the top of the fourth when he took Beckett deep, also his third long ball this year. After that Beckett was back to his prime form, and was quite dominant through seven. Season 1 Cy Young winner Jamie Moyer was good enough to keep the Lindsyans off the board also through seven, but he was not without his own struggles, working out of a bases loaded jam in the seventh. Thus commenced another battle of bullpens: Jelly Bean sent out her star reliever Steve Karsay, who is starting to be mentioned in Cy Young conversations, unprecedented for a reliever. Karsay put out an unbelievable performance, pitching 4 and 2/3s innings, surrendering only two hits. Had he pitched one more out, he would have received his third win of the year. For the Marauders, Buddy Groom entered the game in relief of Moyer and had to work out of jams in both innings that he pitched; the Lindsyans were an atrocious 0-5 with runners in scoring position in the late innings of this game, blowing multiple opportunities to end this one. The game looked like it was going to drag on for a while until Lindsyan third baseman Jeff “Silly” Cirillo homered off of Cliff Pollitte’s first pitch in the bottom of the twelfth. The walk off win puts the JELLY QUEENDREAM TEAM back in winning territory with a 5-4 record and at a very interesting position in Division 1; currently at 4th place, but only 1   and ½ games back of first place. Next week is the second battle of Cat teams when they face off against Division rivals Meow Meow Dui. A good performance in that series could have far reaching effects as far as standings are concerned. As for the Marauders, the team’s performance has absolutely improved as of late although this sweep at the hands of the Lindsyans is certainly a setback. But Doctor Vindaloo’s faith in his team is not shaken; he’s been active in the media making all sorts of guarantees that his team will make the playoffs. His latest claim is that he will promise to convert bleacher seating in the Melmegetia Municipal Stadium into a full scale replica of an elbow of the Ganges River. 
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TYC 0, BOB 1 F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9

TYC         0              0              0              0              0              0              0              0              0           

BOB        0              0              0              0              0              0              0              1              0  

W - Seaver (1-0)                   L - Johnson (1-1)                    S - Fingers (1)

Tom Seaver had a lot to live up to in his first career start; the Bobians were riding a five game win streak, Bobian starters had chained together an incredible string of 8 quality starts, and Roy Halladay and Tom "Schutzstafel" Glavine both put up two of the best starts in the entire league to date. No less against the ace starter of the number one team in Division 2. Although it was close, I think it's safe to say that Seaver lived up to expectations. Although he faced bases loaded jams at three different instances, he managed to pitch a relatively solid eight innings. He gave up probably a few more hits than Greg Maddux might have wanted, but eight innings of shut out baseball against a two time champion is nothing to complain about in your first career start. Randy Johnson turned it into a real pitching dual, really only getting into trouble twice. On the second instance, Luis Aparicio stole two bases, his league leading ninth and tenth., leading to a situation where the Bobians had a speedy runner on third with nobody out. Johnson looked like he was going to get out of it after retiring Ichiro and Edgar "Fredgar" Martinez, but Travis Hafner certainly had other ideas, and brought Aparacio home with a double. One run was all the Bobians needed when they turned over the game to Rollie Fingers in the ninth, who went 1-2-3 through the top of the Tycoon order. While the Bobians now take a commanding league of Division 1 with the best record in either league, the Tycoons now drop down to second place for the first time in Division 2. While both teams are pitching great, Mao might be getting a little nervous after failing to score a single run against the extremely strong pitching of the Spartans.