Good evening folks, and welcome to Episode Nine of the Kruk Bucket; I'm your host John Kruk, and I'm mad as hell. I would like to clear the record with regards to events this past week. I did not, and I repeat DID NOT attempt to break in to Z-Slayers Park. Trust me, I'm just as excited as the next guy to try out the new Cheeseburger Apocalypse concession stands, but that was not the purpose of my going there. Sinister himself invited me to interview Coach Sith since he lost his bet to the Maxion Bombers. When I showed up, the security people were already there, ready for me. I never even caught a whiff of Death by Angus Beef Sandwich! So here is what I am thinking, folks. I'm thinking that this whole thing was just a way for Sinister to welch out of a bet that he lost. And why might he do that, you ask? Well, I personally believe that it's because Lord Sith isn't actually alive! That's right folks, you are hearing it first here, I think that Lord Sith is nothing more than a corpse! Or...um...whatever it is you call a dead cyborg. Why else would he be so adamant about shielding the guy from the press? And by the way, Mr. Sinister, don't appreciate that comment about not being professional. Take a look at this fancy suit I'm wearing. It doesn't get more professional than this. Well folks, I think that's enough platinum level journalism for the day. Let's finish off some more of these hotdogs and then get to the rankings.
1. BOB (0) Really, folks? Is there anyone out there that can stop this team? After the Z-Slayers taking a nasty fall and getting swept by the Bombers, I'm not so sure anymore. Luis Aparicio definitely should be considered for MVP, and anyone in the rotation could get the Cy Young. There always seems to be a hot hand in the offense, and Mike Lowell is really pouring it on now. With a win and a Z-Slayer loss next week, they can clinch the division championship.
2. ZSY (0) This is another team that is completely in a class of its own, despite having a dead manager and a conniving GM. But semmingly still not in the Spartans class just yet. We will definitely see what this team is made of in these last three games, as they basically will do a playoff simulation: one game against Meow Meow Dui and two against the Spartans themselves.
3. MMD (+1) I think they are gonna win that third spot in Division 1, but it will certainly be an upset if they can get past round 1. While the pitching remains solid, their big guns on offense are just not consistent enough. If Eric Chavez and Aaron Rowand go silent at the wrong time, they really don't stand a chance. Curious to see how much of this team gets converted into a Jerusalem Falcons team?
4. RED (-1) A four game losing streak really can't be a nice way to head towards the playoffs. But I guess Ishmael von Corrin took solace in the fact that his team performed better against the Bobians than many of his peers. I have to say though, this is a very dangerous offense with the likes of SS Miguel Tejada on an absolute tear right now. Paul Konerko is having one of the worst years of his career, but if he can somehow come alive in the playoffs, he's a deadly combo with Alfonso Soriano batting behind him.
5. TEN (0) A split series against the Darkpaws wasn't exactly what they were looking for, but they'll take it. At this point they are one of the few teams in Division 2 whose fate rests squarely in their own hands; all they need to do is win to get in. Edgar Martinez Jr. has been the perfect fit for this team, to the point that I think this team is still in the running to win Division 2.
6. STL (+1) Again, talk about inconsistencies, but at this point this team has the biggest opportunity the grab that final playoff spot. I personally think that the Bombers miracle stretch ends here, but then again, the Cardinals have a tendency to split series, and they aready won Game 1 way back in Series 2.
7. TYC (+1) This team definitely has opportunity with their final three games against the Green Sox and Cardinals, but will they do anything with it? Does't seem likely to me, since nearly every player on the offense is having their worst season of their career, notably reigning MVP Jeremy Giambi. In fact, if it weren't for Fred McGriff punching way above his weight, there wouldn't be much run support left over.
8. MAX (+3) Listen folks, I'm really impressed just as much as the next guy with this four game win streak that this team has managed to put together against Division 1 powerhouses. But is this really sustainable? Even if they do win their final three games against the Cardinals and Aces, they still would need the Tycoons and Green Sox to take losses for them to get in. Richie Ashburn and Edgar Martinez have been really tearing things up, but this really would be the comeback of the century if they could work their way in.
9. LIN (0) Although technically still alive, I see no reason for this team to pull off the miracle to advance in Division 1. While they have played admirable .500 baseball the entire season, the team just hasn't shown any vertiable 'oomph' to make it contender. In order to capture the third playoff spot, they will need to win their remaining three games while Meow Meow Dui will need to lose their last three. The Spartans will most likely have their revenge by delivering the knockout blow next week.
10. QEY (-4) This team doesn't deserved to be ranked this low, but I guess that's what happens once you get officially knocked out of the playoff hunt. A real shame, as we've documented here many times before. In any case, there were things to be proud of from this team this season and certainly not a bad outlook for this team next year.
11. AXN (-1) The Darkpaws unfortunately are playing their best baseball of the season now that the games don't matter. But looking ahead to next season, where else to go than up? Ken Griffey Jr. will be the most glad to get this nightmare season behind him; the question will be what moves will re-signed GM A_M do to support the cast around him?
12. MEL (0) Just another bit of bad news for Marauders fans this week. Doctor Vindaloo is currently in the hospital with a case of acute yam shock. Word has it that he overdosed on curry following his team's sweep at the hands of MMD, as well as his decision to keep with the 2003 card theme for next season.
Well that's all for this episode, folks. There will be no Kruk Bucket after Series 11, so consider this the last power rankings of the year. We will see you at the end of the regular season for the All Star Team announcement and post season preview! Until then, eat up!
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