Its official: the Z-Slayers have played their last game sporting their gray and red uniforms. Instead, their players will now wear black caps and white uniforms sporting a white and light green logo, pictured below.
The announcement was criticized by rival teams both for its content as well as timing. Cardinals GM Cedric Sorry curtly commented that the logo "looked like puke" and that the song sounded like "a drunk sailor looking for the bathroom on a rickety ship." Aces GM Ishmael von Corrin, who lost out to sinister in bidding for the team, was slightly more conciliatory in his response. "Well, it certainly is a novel idea getting a theme song for a team. I can't say I would have thought of that. But if I were in control of this team, I can tell you that I would have addressed the coaching situation first, before cosmetic and optic considerations such as these." During the announcement, Sinister said that the uniforms will debut next game against the Tycoons and the theme song will be played for the first time next series. Sinister also gave an update on the situation with Z-Slayers Park, saying that reconstruction will be hopefully completed by Series 11, when intra-league rival Meow Meow Dui come to town.
Queynos Warriors Hire New GM and Coaching Staff
The Queynos Warriors are the latest team to add back office personnel. Mhassa Spellcaster has been named GM with immediate effect, whose first action yesterday was to appoint three coaches: Kalaby Jaby as head coach, Danuvan Marvelsong as pitching coach, and Bravenogg Ironhammer as hitting coach. None of these strangely named fellows have any experience in the league, although they all claim to be prominent residents of Queynos. In a speech to the press, Mhassa announced that his team is currently not in any market for trades, as the new GM firmly believes that his team already has what it takes to make the playoffs. To finish off what was roundly considered a high energy speech, Mhassa said that he's looking forward to working with the Warriors and climbing up the ranks to win Division 1 again.
Spartans MIA; Various Members of that Organization Mysteriously Incommunicado
Various members of the Spartans of Bobia organization have been mysteriously missing from any public appearances over the past several weeks. Most players and managers have not been reachable when asked for comment about these noticeable absences. Conspiracy theories have abounded on the internet when photos surfaced last week of a grocery store worker in Washington D.C. who bore a stunning resemblance to Bobian slugger Ichiro Suzuki. Other photos surfaced of people looking very similar to other players: a golf caddie on Long Island was claimed to be secondbaseman Marcus Giles; a competitor in the "World's Strongest Mams" competition in Cape Koresh was purported to be Charles "The Body CJ" Johnson; a man identifiable by his mustache in a pornographic film was thought to be reliever Rollie Fingers. One theory has said that GM Ronde Barber has convinced his team to join some kind of UFO cult and is requiring them to work side jobs to fund this religious organization. Other theories claim that the players are being underpaid to the point of needing second jobs. Another has claimed that the photos are all coincidences and that Barber has taken the team out on an extended retreat for morale purposes. Whatever the truth may be, the strange inactivity from this team has allowed all sorts of wacky theories to proliferate.
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