Lord Sinister Announced as New Owner and GM of Tuldarian Z-Slayers
In a stunning announcement, Lord Sinister was announced to be the mystery bidder whose offer was accepted to take control of the financially hard pressed ball club. In a press conference yesterday, Sinister officially took over as he signed the legal documents to become owner and general manager. In a speech after the signing ceremony, Sinister announced that a new day had come for Tuldarian baseball and that his first priorities were to make all necessary repairs on the Z-Slayer’s homefield, drain the area of all remaining Zachrian gas, and to find a full time coaching staff. Although Sinister’s experience in sports is very limited, he brings to the table a lot of cash to straighten out the teams dismal finances. But questions have been raised about the source of this income and Lord Sinister’s past. Darkpaw GM ALLIED_MASTERCOMPUTER spoke openly about the corrupt practices that Sinister employed when he was President of the former Alyxian Republic, and said that he did not think it to be fair or just for the league to be profiting from ill-gotten investments. St. Louis Cardinal General Manager Cedric Sorry wrote a letter from prison to the league commissioner expressing his concern about ties Sinister has had in the past to allegedly terrorist organizations. Noticeably silent was Red Clay GM Ishmael von Corrin, whose bid was rejected in favor of Sinister’s.
Red Clay Closer Wagner: I’m Being Overworked
Billy Wagner started off the season as perhaps the sharpest closer in the league, snagging two saves right away in the first two series. Since then, he’s found himself racking up appearances and innings pitched that have put him near the top of the league in those two STATS. In a recent interview, that's the reason that the pitcher has given for his latest two performances, which have deviated sharply from the dominating form he was in earlier in the season: he struggled badly to just barely earn his third save of the year against the Cardinals before actually blowing his first save of the year last game against the Warriors. The two time All Star claimed that Red Clay management has not been attuned to his needs and that he’s being overworked despite the fact that the Aces have a six man bullpen. In response to this, John Kruk wrote in his weekly column that he was surprised to see an All Star of all people try to make excuses for a pair of bad performances. Wagner responded in turn by challenging Kruk to another charity at bat, similar to the one he had a few months ago against Randy Johnson of Mao’s Tycoons. No response as of yet from Mr. Kruk.
Adam Kennedy Named First Player Manager in League History
The Melmegetian Marauders are the latest team to join in on the coaching craze, but in an entirely new way in the league’s history. Second baseman Adam Kennedy has been named head coach by GM Dr. Vindaloo effective immediately. Kennedy has been a fixture of this team and has played for the Marauders for six straight seasons, notching more than ten RBIs in each season with a high of 16 in Season 4 and a regular season career total of 70 RBIs. Dr. Vindaloo said during the conference that there were three main reasons why he decided to go with a player to be coach: 1) Vindaloo has already been handling most of the coaching duties himself and will continue to do some of them, so it would not be a full time job for a player 2) The coaching market is currently very competitive and thin, as shown by the inability of teams like the Green Sox and Warriors to attract viable candidates. 3) Kennedy recently won an eating contest where he was able to eat more of Vindaloo’s homemade saag paneer than any other player in the Marauder lineup. Kennedy said that he was thrilled with the opportunity not only to be the first player-coach in the league, but to continue to work for the organization that’s been his home for so long. His first task at hand will be to guide his teammates in an attempt to split a series with the Darkpaws after an embarrassing loss.
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