League News Round-Up, 30 JAN 2017

Edgar Martinez Jr. Announces He Will Not Play For Mao’s Tycoons

In a press announcement, the hottest free agent on the market announced that he would refuse to sign any contract to play for Mao’s Tycoons. No word was given on if any negotiations had taken place, nor was any reason given for the player’s decision. As it is well known, the Tycoons have always had a complicated relationship with the Zachrian government, and there have been rumors for years that they were somehow involved in his father’s assassination. No comment was given by the Ghost of Mao in response to this announcement. League analysts had proposed the Tycoons as a potential fit for Martinez, as the Tycoon offense has struggled very badly this year and would have a lot of salary to accommodate Martinez with a few relatively simple changes. If indeed Martinez’s reasons are politically influenced, would it not make sense then to assume he’d want to play for a team like the Z-Slayers? That would require a lot more movement and complexity in terms of personnel and salary cap considerations. His father’s old team, the Darkpaws, also remain a probable contender.

Spartan Pitching Coach Reportedly Offered Head Coach Position in TEN

David Cone has reportedly been offered the head coaching position of the Tenbil Town Green Sox. The Green Sox, who are struggling to compete for playoff contention, are first and foremost in the market for new management. Cone, who currently oversees arguably the best pitching staff in the league, is probably the most ideal candidate but is most likely unavailable due to contract considerations. The terms of his current employment with the Spartans are unclear, but it is widely understood that he would require the approval of Ronde Barber to take this position, even if he is interested. Either way, this makes this deal highly unlikely to go through. Neither Spartan nor Green Sox management were available for immediate comment.

Bids Officially Placed for Z-Slayers Franchise; Von Corrin still in the running

Three bids have officially been placed for the financially struggling Tuldarian Z-Slayers franchise, which is badly mired in administrative debt and requires fresh capital to initiate badly needed repairs on their stadium. Despite not having approval from the commissioner, Ishmael Von Corrin has reportedly gone ahead and placed a very strong bid for ownership of a second team. Many teams formally declared their opposition to multi-team ownership including Ronde Barber, the Ghost of Mao, Cedric Sorry, and Doctor Vindaloo; in response to these protests, the league commissioner made it clear that he was personally not in favor of von Corrin taking over two teams, but stopped short of declaring the possibility against league protocol. Instead, he has requested more time to study the matter to come out with the league’s decision. When asked why he didn’t wait for approval, Von Corrin commented the following: “I would have liked to wait for the commissioners approval, however two bids were already placed for the franchise. Who knows how long it will take for the commissioner to reach his decision; if he decides that my ownership of two teams is ultimately not good for the well-being of the league, then I will happily comply.” When asked if he would possibly divest himself of the Aces to take over the Z-Slayers, he replied that he was a proud resident of Red Clay and that his main interests lie with the Aces. But it still remains to be seen if his bid will be accepted. Other bids were reportedly placed by the Duplo Defense Commission as well as an unnamed individual who was reported last week to “have a long history with Tuldaria.” Chilean billionaire Sebastian Piniera has stated that he will not be placing a bid for ownership of the team.  

Series 6 Part 3: John Kruk called it!

RED 3, STL 5 F

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9
RED	0	0	2	1	0	0	0	0	0
STL	0	0	0	0	3	0	2	0	0

W – Veres (2-0)                   L – Harper (0-1)                    Save – Isringhausen (3)

Props to John Kruk, for pretty much predicting exactly how this game would go. Cardinals starter Matt Morris seemed to recover nicely from his last start, a nightmare from which he didn’t even finish one inning. All told he did rather well, earning a quality start although just narrowly. The Aces struck first in the third, with a big hit from Alfonso Soriano, a two run triple. The Aces were not able to bring Soriano home from third, which would go on to haunt them later. Next inning the Aces offense carried on with another two out rally, with Tom Goodwin doubling in his second RBI of the year. With ever reliable Ben Sheets cruising, it looked like just about everything was going the Aces way, when Cardinals firstbaseman Orlando Cepeda tied the game with one swing of the bat, a three run homer off Sheets in the fifth. The Aces stranded runners in scoring position in both the sixth and seventh innings, including a bases loaded no outs jam that reliever Dave Veres was able to work out of thanks to a key double play. Cepeda stepped to the plate again in the seventh and hit his second home run of the game off of Red Clay reliever Travis Harper. Those proved to be the winning runs, as Jason Isringhausen 04 then entered the game and pitched two innings to earn his third save of the year. As Kruk called it, this was a big opportunity for the Cardinals to split a very difficult series; they’ve avoided being swept since the very first series of the season against MMD. This certainly keeps the pressure on the rest of the teams in Division 2, including the Aces who are now only two games up on the third place Cardinals.
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ZSY 2, AXN 1 F/11

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	11
ZSY	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	1
AXN	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	0

W – Graves (1-0)    L – Kolb (0-1)  

The miracle story of the Z-Slayers pitching staff continues; Zach Day, a control 2 starter whose salary is one fifth what most starters make in the league, went six strong innings completely shutting out the hapless Darkpaw offense. Incredibly, his performance ties him for the league lead in quality starts. Although he pitched very well, he did have some help from Darkpaw batters who couldn’t seem to do much of anything right, rolling many outs on their own cards. His opponent, Kerry Wood 02, was equally as effective, doing an excellent job of navigating through a very dangerous Z-Slayer lineup without giving up any runs through seven. Thus began a battle of the bullpens; Darkpaw reliever Satoru Komiyama struggled in the top of the eighth, eventually walking in Paul Lo Duca for the first score of the game. To Komiyama’s credit, he got out of the jam without any further bloodshed. Z-Slayer long reliever Ricardo Rincon stalled also in the bottom of the inning, unable to contain the bottom of the Darkpaw lineup; Mike Lieberthal doubled, moving firstbaseman Brad Fullmer to third, setting him up to score when leadoff man Omar Vizquel singled next at bat. But here too, the bleeding stopped at a single run. Komiyama and Rincon both finished their respective parts of the ninth without incident, each then handing over the game to their team’s closer. Danny Kolb and Danny Graves both dominated in the tenth, but the eleventh inning was much more interesting. Carl Crawford leadoff for the Z-Slayers with a single, and in true Luis Aparicio style rounded the bases all the way to third with two clutch stolen bases. The always reliable Jack Wilson later brought him home with an RBI single, his tenth of the year. The Darkpaws managed to put up a fight in the bottom of the inning, loading the bases with two outs. Danny Graves stayed in the game to face Ken Griffey Jr. 04; with a full count, Graves managed to pop him up and seal the win and the sweep for Tuldaria. Both teams look forward to interesting matchups next week; the Z-Slayers will host the struggling Tycoons, while the Alyxians will travel to Melmegetia to take on Dr. Vindaloo’s marauders. 

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TEN 0, MAX 11      F

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9
TEN	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
MAX	0	0	0	6	0	2	0	3	0

W - Franklin (1-2)          L - Ishii (1-1)

Just when you thought the Green Sox were getting back on track, they find a way to reach a new low. Kazushisa Ishii had looked excellent in his two previous starts, but that changed abruptly in the fourth inning, where the Bombers put together their biggest rally of the year: Richie Ashburn kicked things off with a bases loaded double, was followed by Corey Koskie collecting his first RBI of the year (you read that correctly), and Edgar Martinez RBI double (his team leading 9th of the year), and finally Jeff "Automatic Hit" Kent knocking in another two with a big double. Ishii stayed in the game, but did not survive two pitches into the sixth when Jeff Kent struck again with a big blast, expanding the lead to 8-0. For the Bombers, starter Ryan Franklin was absolutely brilliant in this one, going 1-2-3 in nearly every inning, hearkening back to the days in season 3 when he won four games. He finished the game only giving up seven hits, and would have had a notable achievement if it weren't for a small string of hits that the Green Sox had finally string together in the ninth, smothered anyway before they could break up the shutout. Bengie "Don't Make Fun of My Speed" Molina lead the charge in the eight for the Bombers, adding three more runs to rub salt in the wound. While the most the Bombers can say is that they've avoided a ten game losing streak, the loss is much more significant for the Green Sox ball club. The offense has cooled considerably of late and you can't help by feel that they've lost a step on their "clogged artery" (as Ronde Barber termed it) competitors of Division 2. They face the grueling task of hosting Meow Meow Dui next round.

BREAKING NEWS: Z-SLAYERS ON THE VERGE OF BANKRUPTCY: SEEKING NEW OWNER

In the wake of last week’s explosion at Z-Slayer Park, another bombshell has been figuratively dropped on the Tuldarian franchise; the ball club is tottering on the edge of bankruptcy. Once the emergency personnel finished their work and talks began to progress about repairs, drama unraveled within the Z-Slayers finance department; several managers had been severely cooking the books to cover up embezzlement and fraud. As a result, the team not only doesn’t have the money to complete repairs on their stadium, but doesn’t have enough to cover operating expenses due at the end of the month. The corrupt managers will be brought before a court of law, but this still leaves the team in the lurch. Their only solution is to find a new investor who can provide enough capital to take ownership of the organization. The rumor mill has been churning out names of all sorts of possible candidates who might be willing to sink a whole lot of money into the ailing team; the two biggest names mentioned have been Ishmael von Corrin, founder of the general store chain as well as the Red Clay Aces, and Sebastian Piniera, the Chilean billionaire and former president of that country. The word on the street is that von Corrin wants it more, possibly to transfer players to his team; rumor also had it several weeks ago that the Aces had attempted to trade for Kip Wells to replace their struggling Mark Buerhle. In any case, von Corrin would need to convince the commissioner to allow him to directly own two teams in the league, which would probably prove to be quite difficult. In addition to Piniera, there’s also been talk of a third possible investor, one who has “a long history with Tuldaria.” No word yet on how credible that piece of gossip has been. In any case, the decision needs to be made soon…time is running out, financially.

Series 6 Part 2: Battle of Cats, Halo Cards, and Bionic Gophers

MAX 2, TEN 5  F

                  1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9
MAX        0              0              1              0              1              0              0              0              0
TEN          0              0              0              1              1              0              3              0              0          

W – Beckett (2-0)                L - Daal (0-2)             S - Foulke (3)

Both teams were desperately thirsty for a win in this one, although neither team by any means brought their A-game; there were so many stranded runners that the game frequently had the appearance of a casting call for the TV show Lost. Which is all the more ironic since most of the scoring early on came off of solo homeruns: Magglio Ordonez went deep in the fourth, J.D. Drew in the fifth, and Jeff "Not Really An Automatic Out Anymore" Kent also in the fifth. Incredibly enough, all of these players RBIs so far this year have come from solo homeruns. Up to that point in the game, the only manufactured run had came for the Bombers in the third, when Richie Ashburn singled in his sixth run of the season. As stated already, almost every inning became a comedy of errors for the hitting team, rolling awful numbers on hitters cards and hitting into stupid double plays. The worst example came in the sixth inning when the Bombers loaded the bases, but failed to score a run. Omar Daal ran into trouble in the seventh, and his bullpen could not bail him out, eventually surrendering a bases loaded double to Steve Finley, who was recently moved to the end of the batting order. Willie Harris followed Finley's big hit with a single to knock in another run. Unfortunately the runs were tagged to Daal, giving him the loss and preventing him from achieving his first quality start of the year. The Bombers got runners on second and third with only one out in the eighth, but again could not capitalize. Workhouse closer Keith Foulke slammed the door shut in the ninth with a 1-2-3 to secure a badly needed win for the flailing Green Sox and condemning the Bombers to their ninth straight loss. Overall a difficult game to watch, with both teams demonstrating very sloppy play.
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AXN 3, ZSY 7  F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9
AXN       0              0              0              1              0              0              1              1              0
ZSY        0              1              3              0              2              0              1              0              0             

W – Hernandez (2-0)                L - Wood 04 (0-3)             

The Darkpaws performed similar to the Bombers in the game before them; leaving runners in scoring position left and right. Omar Vizquel lead off the game with a lead off triple, but the heart of the Darkpaw lineup could not bring him home. They left runners in scoring position in the third, fourth, seventh, and eighth. Not so for the Z-Slayers, who had Kerry Wood 04 on the run for most of the night. Strong games were put out by Juan Pierre (4-4, with an RBI triple), Albert Pujols (2 RBIs, for a league leading 13 on the season), Ken Harvey (1 RBI, but hit 3 doubles after having moved to bat fifth in the lineup), and Ralph Kiner (HR, 2B, 3 RBI). The wind had seemed to leave the sails of the Darkpaws once the score hit 7-1, but they pepped up a bit when they got some help from very uncharacteristic defensive mishaps from Jack Wilson in the 7th and 8th, both of which resulted in Darkpaw scores. Wilson said later that reading ground balls on Tuldaria Memorial High School field was exceptionally difficult when the tycoon gophers woke up halfway through the game and began to burrow their way towards third base. Z-Slayer starter Runelvys Hernandez didn't look exactly stellar, but he did finish eight innings while still earning the quality start (his tied for league leading 3rd) and his second win of the year. As for the Darkpaws, this loss brings them back to reality after their sweeping of the Bombers. Oh well. It was good while it lasted.  
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MMD 3, LIN 0  F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9
MMD      2              0              0              0              1              0              0              0              0
LIN         0              0              0              0              0              0              0              0              0             

W – Schilling (3-0)                L - Schoenweiss (0-2)              S - Hammond (1)

The Meow Meow offense got to scoring right away, with RBI team leader Gregg Zaun going long for two in the top of the first. Both team's starters were relatively solid in this one, with both team's defense very much on point, turning a few double plays that squashed several scoring opportunities. One of those opportunities solidified into another score for Meow Meow when Gregg Zaun singled in second baseman Mark Ellis, accounting for all the RBIs in this game. Lindsyan starter Scott Schoenweiss struggled at times, but did earn his second quality start of the season. Dui starter Curt Schilling continued his excellent season but was perhaps not exactly as sharp as his past performances. Dui fans were in for a bit of a scare when the Cy Young candidate
was suddenly pulled by Coach Taklamente in the seventh, seemingly without reason. Murmurs spread throughout the stadium about a possible injury, but those murmurs turned into stunned silence when Taklamente handed the ball over to reliever Chris Hammond, despite the availability of a few better arms in the bullpen. Hammond went 1-2-3 in the eighth, but nevertheless shocked the Lindsyan fans once again by coming out to pitch the ninth. He struggled in his second inning of work, but managed to finish out the inning and earn his first career save. After the game Coach Taklamente denied any rumors of a Schilling injury. "I took him out because he earned some rest. I sent him to the spa." When asked about the strange use of middle reliever Chris Hammond to earn a two inning save while Foulke and Miceli were both available, Taklamente said "We didn't need them. I knew Chris was able to do it. It worked out, so I was right, wasn't I?" Hard to argue with that logic, especially when it has given fruit to a 7-3 record. With the Spartans and Z-Slayers both winning the first game of their series, the breakup of the logjam at the top of Division 1 is nowhere in sight.  

SPECIAL REPORT: Explosion at Z-Slayers Park!

TULDARIA - As players arrived at Z-Slayer Park on Wednesday afternoon, a loud thundering noise sent stadium workers and fans running scared. When the asbestos laden dust began to settle, it became apparent that the bleacher section out in right centerfield had been totally demolished.  Rumors had been circulating since the beginning of the season that the integrity of Z-Slayer Park had not been officially confirmed after the bombing runs during the Zachrian wars. To the embarrassment of the Z-Slayers, this unfortunate event has proven the rumors to be true. Investigators quickly determined that the blast had been caused by a Zachrian bomb that did not explode upon impact when it was dropped on the stadium, and somehow ended up being built over when the bleacher section was reconstructed last summer. It’s widely reported now that the explosive device was triggered when a concessions agent had ventured under the seating area in search of a mythical Oreo stash, that has reportedly been used during games by hooligans as throwing ammo against centerfielders from opposing teams. Miraculously, the concessions agent survived the blast, protected by a concrete section that fell over him and shielded him from the brunt of it. In fact, there were no other casualties directly from the explosion; the only reported injuries came from a group of visiting Darkpaw fans who in their panic unwittingly ran into the parking lot, where they were soon made unconscious by that notorious cloud of Zachrian gas. Because of unlucky winds, the cloud has now expanded so that rescue workers are still unable to reach the unfortunate (in more ways than one) Alyxians. The Old Man in the Cave, the commissioner, has announced that a full investigation will be forthcoming to see if there was any wrongdoing on the part of the Z-Slayers. In the meantime, yesterday’s scheduled game between the Darkpaws and Z-Slayers has been rescheduled for tomorrow night. It has been arranged that the game will be played at Tuldaria Memorial High School, currently the only other baseball diamond in Tuldaria. The field is in excellent shape for a high school, but there has been some talk of an infestation of cyborg gophers tunneling around second base – presumably leftovers from the Tycoon War. In any case, stay tuned for further updates and breaking news.  

Series 6: The Beginning of a key divisional round

QEY 2, BOB 4 F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9

QEY        0              2              0              0              0              0              0              0              0           

BOB        0              2              0              0              0              0              0              0              1              

W – Halladay (2-0)                L - Lowe (1-3)

With multiple streaks on the line, Roy Halladay took the mound in his second career performance, having also to live up to his one hitter debut against the Darkpaws. He stumbled a bit out of the gate, getting out of a jam thanks to a very clutch double play turned by the always reliable glove of Luis Aparicio. But that also couldn't help Halladay escape from Edgardo Alfonzo taking him deep for two scores in the top of the second. Travis Hafner, a hot hitter of late, responded immediately in the bottom of the inning with a two run homer of his own. After that, Halladay and Rodgers both were in top form, not really running into any danger whatsoever. Rodgers was excellent through seven, before giving way to long reliever Sean Lowe in the eighth. Halladay, clearly upset at allowing the first runs for the Bobians in four games, was powered by rage to still hit top speeds on his fastball in the ninth inning, and looked ready to pitch even more, if it weren't for the Spartan bats coming alive in the bottom of the ninth. Marcus Giles has struggled mightily throughout the season, but has always seemed to come up with clutch hits. In the same style in which he helped his team win their first game of the season with a three run shot, he helped his team walk off with a two run homer off Lowe. With this win, the Spartans extend their win and quality start streak to record levels, and pad their division lead further. A rough loss for the fifth place Warriors, who are trying to turn around their season. It was a good effort by Rodgers, but the offense will need to be a bit more potent if they want to walk away with a split series in Game 2.
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STL 3, RED 4 F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9

STL         2              0              0              0              1              0              0              0              0           

RED        0              0              0              0              0              0              1              3              0              

W – Quantril (1-0)      L - Springer (1-1)      Blown Save - Springer (1)    Save - Wagner (3)  


The Zachrian Redbirds got off to an excellent start, with firstbaseman Orlando Cepeda hitting his second home run of the year off Red Clay starter Josh Fogg. Fogg settled down after that, only surrendering another run in the fifth, when Edgar Rentaria doubled in second baseman Fernando Vina. Interesting to note that that was Renteria's 8th RBI of the season, which ties him for the team lead with Larry Walker. For the Cardinals, Darren Oliver put up an excellent effort, only getting into serious trouble in the second, but bailed out by a crucial double play by a team that has three golden gloves in the infield. He stumbled in the seventh when the Aces finally put together a rally, but the bleeding was stopped quickly after one run when reliever Russ Springer entered the game. Reliever Paul Quantril entered the game for the Aces in the 8th, and just barely made it through the inning without surrendering  a run. In the bottom side, Springer allowed the tying run in the form of a Paul Konerko two run shot. Things went from bad to worse two batters later when Jason Giambi crushed a solo homerun over the right field wall, giving the Aces a one run lead. Both these hitters had been very cool before the inning, but I'm sure Ishmael von Corrin will take the power surge in the eighth inning all the same. Closer Billy Wager struggled uncharacteristically in the ninth, but managed to strike out Mark Grudzielanek with the bases loaded to end the game and earn his third save of the year. The come from behind win puts the Aces off to a good start in the series, bringing their overall record to an impressive 7-3. A tough loss for the Cardinals who will try to get a piece of the Aces in series two when they send Matt Morris to the mound to take on Ben Sheets.

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MEL 7, TYC 0 F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9

MEL        1              0              0              0              1              3              0              0              2           

 TYC         0              0              0              0              0              0              0              0              0 

W - Beckett (1-1)                   L - Penny (1-1)

How ill is the Tycoon offense? Try three straight games without scoring a single run! A key factor in extending this streak was the performance of Josh Beckett, who only gave up four hits in 7 and 1/3 innings of work. In this shutout effort, he becomes the first pitcher in Division 2 to reach three quality starts. The closest the Tycoons came to scoring was when Jason Giambi was originally awarded a homerun, but was called back when video evidence showed that the ball had sliced just foul over the pole. The Marauders offense put out an equally impressive effort, striking first with a Miguel Olivo solo homerun in the first, a Fred Mcgriff bases loaded walk in the fifth, and the real death blow coming when Brandon Larson hit his second homer of the season in the sixth. Tycoon starter Brad Penny had kept his pitch count low throughout the evening, which enabled him to make it all the way to the ninth, but was kicked ungracefully out of the game when Orlando Palmeiro knocked in two more runs to rub a little more salt in the wound. A big win for the Vindaloo's squad, who have definitely improved after a bad start to the season. Also highly encouraging is another great performance from Josh Beckett. With this win, Melmegetia is now in a dead heat for third place with the Cardinals and could pull to within one game back of 2nd place in the division with a win over the Tycoons next game. That about says it also for the Tycoons...if the Ghost Mao is panicked there were little signs of it during his press conference during which he leered silently at reporters before going to sleep on the podium. Hey Mao, anything to those rumors that you are scouting Edgar Martinez?