Welcome to the second episode of the Kruk Bucket, with your host John Kruk. Today I’m in Tycoonia, on assignment to cover the first game of the series between the Tycoons and the Maxion Bombers. To be honest, I really wanted to be in Red Clay to cover their matchup against the Green Sox, which I think will ultimately be a much more entertaining series. But I changed my assignment at the last second because it appears that some of my comments about Mao’s team have not gone over so well here in Tycoonia. In particular, Mr. Randy Johnson took offense at my saying that he was getting older, since we are roughly the same age. Well, as it turns out, he’s publicly challenged me to an at bat. If I can get a hit off of him, Mr. Johnson will make a $1000 donation to a charity of my choice. If I can’t, then I need to make the donation. I think Randy needs to take things not so personally, but I’m up for any challenge. As a journalist I frequently need to put my money where my mouth is, and trust me, if you look at my dining out budget, that's a lot of money we are talking about. So before the game we’ll have our little contest. In my playing days, I had plenty of hits off Randy so I’m really not worried about it. I’m more concerned about lunch here in Tycoonia…gosh, I tell you, this town is not good for eats. Purina, Meow mix…none of the local delicacies ever really did anything for me. Ah! Here’s my roast beef club with chips and cole slaw…wow, that's great…look at that… Well thank goodness that the Bacon Boutique delivers! O.K., I’m ready now, so let’s dive into it.
1. LIN (+3): So you might be surprised that I’m giving the number 1 spot this week to JELLY QUEEN, but this team really is brilliant when things work well. Although they only split their series with St. Louis, I think they are developing an excellent team culture of manufacturing runs: excellent baserunning by Shannon Stewart and Brian Roberts; big hits from the heart of the lineup from Manny Ramirez, Rondell White, and Victor Martinez. The pitching has been solid, but the bullpen has really shined so far this year, led by Steve Karsay who's tied for the league lead in wins and appearances. I think this next series against the Z-Slayers is going to make or break them. If they can sweep or honorably split the two games, I think they may emerge as the leaders of Division 1.
2. RED (0): Despite just splitting their series with the lowly Alyxians, I’m going to keep the Aces at number 2. Everything about this team is going right, with the exception of number 1 starter Mark Buehrle, who has pitched in both losses for this team. I’m interested to see if this team will make a big name acquisition down the stretch, especially since they have a little bit of cap room to work with if they dropped their sixth arm in the bullpen. Although they’ve lost a little momentum since my last update, I still bank on them to be the Division 2 leaders.
3. MMD (-3): Bit of an ugly loss there against the Tycoons last week. Stunk like tofu, truth be told. And very worrying coming from reigning Cy Young Carl Pavano. But this kind of loss is probably just an anomaly, just a one off type of thing. The game before was an overtime heartbreaker so I don’t think it's a systemic thing. But it just goes to show you how fragile this team’s strategy is. If the pitching isn’t there, the offense isn’t really capable of getting them back into the game. Gregg Zaun has been ok batting in the third spot, but he’s not getting any support whatsoever from Miguel Tejada or Eric Chavez behind him. I’d be curious to see what happens if Meowth makes any move to shore this weakness up. I’m also curious to see if there are any other moves on the horizon regarding the coaching. Taklamente has been behaving very strangely lately; the coach’s latest antic? Banning the team from drinking anything cold. Needless to say, their sponsorship with Gatorade is now over.
4. TYC (+2): I’ve gotten all sorts of hate mail from Tycoon fans, but that's only a very small part of the reason why I’m ranking the team with the best record in the league at number 4. Yes, they sweeped Meow Meow Dui who is a good team in their own right, but one of those wins was just a one run squeak and the other was just Carl Pavano imploding. Pitching has been good, which is to be expected with Mao’s team, but the offense is nothing with the both Giambi brothers slumping. Fred McGriff has admirably picked up some of the slack with an tied for league leading 7 RBIs, but how can an on-base 9 card keep that up for any long period of time? Four wins is great and sure there is some talent there, but I see that’s mostly luck. And I’ll keep telling you the way I see it, no matter how much hate mail and Randy Johnson challenges I get. Definitely watch for our showdown next week; if I take Johnson long, I’ll even through in a few cans of Friskies…how’s that for Tycoon delicacies?
5. ZSY (0): Shock and awe. That’s basically how this team was designed; use the offense to bludgeon the opponent into submission. The plan so far this year has worked even better than expected, with the pitching coming up big, especially the starters who have pitched long enough so that the shaky bullpen really hasn’t had the opportunity to blow anything. If I had to pick a Cy Young right now, I’d probably go with Kip Wells, who is on pace for a career year. Their losses have come only in games where the offense struggles, which has become fewer and fewer of late as Albert Pujols and Ralph Kiner have come alive as of late. Jack Wilson is maybe the most valuable offseason acquisition so far this year and has performed very well batting third. If the pitching continues, that’s just a bonus for them, it’s really up to the offense with this one. I don’t think this next series against JELLY QUEEN is as important for the Z-Slayers as it is for the Lindsyans, but this is a big opportunity for a team to break out and take command of Division 1. Could very well be the Z-Slayers.
6. BOB (+1): This is another team that has potential to come out of next series atop Division 1, but I’m not too keen on their chances. They swept the Bombers in Series 3, but the Maxions are not particularly good this year and the games were really close ones. Thank goodness their clubhouse is catered with such great bacon bites, otherwise they might have nibbled off all ten of their fingernails. But I have to say, I think Ronde Barber made some good moves last week, as covered by my good friends Al Leiter and Butthead last week. It’s going to take some time for the rookies to get up to speed, but I’m in particular excited about Luis Aparicio – I think he’s got the biggest potential to get this offense going, especially at the top of the order. I tell you though, the pitching has been great so far with this record string of quality starts, you need to give those guys and David Cone A LOT of credit. But if you don’t have any run support, that's just like French fries without any salt…nobody really wants that. In any case, I’ll be rooting for the rookie Roy Halladay when he takes the mound this week. I’d like to see this streak continue and eventually for this team to make the playoffs. I’ll never be hoping against any excuses for a visit to Bobby’s Burger Palace.
7. TEN (-3): This team has a lot of potential, but I’m really disappointed by the inconsistency here. The lineup is packed with potential MVPs, but at least one of them always seems to be slumping miserably at any given time. David Ortiz has emerged so far as the most consistent bat here, so I would expect to maybe see him moved up in the lineup from this number 6 spot. They survived a difficult matchup against the Z-Slayers, but now they have an even more difficult one against the Aces. I’m expecting the Aces to come out on top of this one, and if they do in dominating fashion, I’m concerned this might blow this team off course as they voyage toward the playoffs.
8. QEY (0): Being swept by the Marauders has to be like finding someone put an olive in your empanada (with a pit): unexpected, disappointing, and probably going to make a mess as you try to pick it out with your fingers. That being said, the Warriors are a team that knows how to handle adversity and certainly has the veteran leadership to turn things around. Although there are on the outside of the four way logjam at the top of Division 1, they are only one game out which is nothing in the grand scheme of things at this point in the season. Pitching has not been as good as expected, especially the bullpen, but I really admire how this team manufactures runs and doesn’t rely on the longball. Thanks to excellent base running and key hits, the Warriors do an excellent job of bringing runners home. In fact they lead the league in runs scored off of sacrifice fly balls. Definitely like how this offense works with Ellis Burks and Geoff Jenkins providing the power, Frank Cattalonotto wayfaring around the bases, and the likes of Sean Casey and Edgardo Alfonzo driving him home.
9. STL (0): Same problem as the Warriors: inconsistency. The only constant has been Larry Walker, who has shredded up ever pitcher he’s faced so far this year, but he’s still an isolated threat depending on if the rest of the team shows up. When they are able to play ball, this team wins. When they don’t, they lose. It’s that simple. I don’t know if you can eat Cardinals, but Thanksgiving is coming up and lots of people are going to be looking to roast some big birds. Melmegetia comes to town next, and Dr. Vindaloo’s squad in particular is looking to advance a few steps into playoff contention.
10. MEL (+2): They swept the Warriors, but is it meaningful? If they fall on their faces in Game 1 against the Cardinals, I see all that momentum draining away like a platter of popcorn chicken at my last World Series party. Dr. Vindaloo has invited various people around the league (myself included) to an Indian food part if the team finishes this series at or above .500. So that makes me a little biased, but not really because I have no idea what Tikka Mesala tastes like. If they are going to start winning, the pitchers need some more run support. Adam Kennedy and Scott Rolen showed some signs of life last series, but Brandon Larson and Fred McGriff are really going to have to pick things up. Aside from the scrappy Orlando Palmeiro batting ninth, the bottom of their order has become the place where potential rallies go to die.
11. AXN (0): I’m going to applaud ALLIED_MASTERCOMPUTER’s calculations to finally act on their bullpen issues. Changing two relievers is a big move, but I think even just the symbolism of this will have a positive impact on the team. I’m not so sure however about their decision to take Marty Cordova back on. Don’t get me wrong, he’s an experienced veteran, but he’s always been very hit or miss throughout his career, and I’m not sure if that’s what the Darkpaws needed right now. The offense looked much improved with the lineup shake up last game, so we’ll see if that continues. I think most Darkpaw fans are eager to see how Ken Griffey Jr. performs this series against the Spartans. He’s been very quiet of late, and needs something to break out of that. He’s traditionally done quite well against Bobian pitchers, so that might just be what the doctor ordered.
12. MAX (-2): Four straight losses for the Bombers put them at the bottom of my rankings and the bottom of the standings. Not much going right here at the moment, but the pitching was a little better this time around against the Spartans. There have been some bright spots in the offense: Bengie “Don’t Make Fun of My Speed Molina and Delino “Delicious” Deshields and Corey “The Cock” Koskie. But the heart of the lineup has been a total black hole, erasing a lot of the baserunners that Ashburn and the end of the lineup have put on the board. A very tough matchup on the horizon against the Tycoons could easily be an early season knockout punch for this team.
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