Leit'em Up Roster Report Episode 2

AL: Hey all you Leitheads out there! Welcome to the second installment of the Leit’em Up Roster Report. I’m Al Leiter and I’m joined here by my colleague Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead fame. Today's episode includes a few moves made by teams trying to beef up their offense a bit...y'know getting more hits, since giving up walks isn't really that detrimental to the pitcher in the long run...wouldn't you agree, Butthead?

BH: Ehuh huh....Like, I can't see myself on the camera. Is there something wrong?

AL: Excellent insight as always. So my dear Letiheads, let's start with what was probably the most obvious move this week: the flailing Darkpaws fired their thirdbaseman Mike Lowell and opened up a lot of cap to upgrade some pieces of the offense. 

ADDED

3B Hank Blalock

DH Ken Griffey Jr. 04

1B Brad Fullmer

RP C.J. Nitkowski

DROPPED

3B Mike Lowell

DH Marty Cardova

1B Carlos Rivera

RP Lance Carter

AL: As stated earlier, you might have guessed that Lowell was on his way out, after only managing 2 RBI's in 7 games this season despite his 610 point salary. Replacing him at thirdbase is the strong left handed hitter Hank Blalock, who was actually claimed by another team this week, but the Darkpaws were able to grab him due to their last place record. Blalock is definitely a defensive downgrade and a hitting downgrade on paper, but he's a respectable replacement and gave the Darkpaws the flexibility to make the other moves. DH Marty Cordova's second stint with the Darkpaws was very brief, only 3 games in which he had only one single hit and a boatload of strikeouts and double plays. Replacing him is Ken Griffey Jr. 04, who joins his older brother as the presumptive long ball specialists on this team. We'll see if he can bring some life to his brother who has only 2 homers so far this year and really hasn't even walked all that much...not that that would have been a bad thing...but I digress. The long time Melmegetian Marauder Brad Fullmer was added to play first base and represents a good upgrade over Rivera (0 RBIs in 7 games) as well as good point value. Finally, relief pitcher Lance Carter was also given a pink slip officially to "make cap room." But a little reading between the lines shows that GM ALLIED_MASTERCOMPUTER might have been upset with his behavior in the latest game against the Spartans in which he beaned Charles "You Have No Idea What You Just Did" CJ Johnson, unarguably a stupid and unprofessional move. After all, he could have just thrown behind him a few times and walked him...nothing wrong with giving up a walk everyone once in awhile. Don't you think that would have had the same effect, Butthead? 

BH: Uhhhhhh...one time I asked Todd what a nematode is. Then he kicked my ass...huh-huh, ehuhuhuhuhh.

AL: Okayyyy...moving on to the Green Sox!

ADDED

C Brent Mayne

DROPPED

DH Doug Mientkiewicz

AL: So it looks like the Green Sox got burned enough times with Jorge Posada's only +5 catcher ability. Needing someone with a bit more of an arm behind the plate, the team has made the interesting move of transferring Posada to DH duty and adding Brent Mayne as a defensive upgrade. Mientkiewicz, who played for both the Green Sox and Z-Slayers in years past, has never been the same since his breakout year in Season 3, where he hit a career high 4 homeruns and 15 RBIs. But I could see him catching on with another team down the stretch, wouldn't you also say Butthead? Might be a good fit for someone like the Darkpaws or Meow Meow Dui even?

BH: Uhhhh...I think the cameraman just like walked away or something. I still don't see myself, ehuheuhuhu.

AL: ...well if he want's to walk, that's his prerogative. At least he didn't double away! Or god forbid homer away! Well my dear Leitheads, that just about covers it for this edition. After the break we will be back doing the play by play for the Battle of the Basement Dwellers, when the Darkpaws take on the Bombers....until then..."We'll leave the LEIT on for you!"