Leit'em Up Roster Report Episode 2

AL: Hey all you Leitheads out there! Welcome to the second installment of the Leit’em Up Roster Report. I’m Al Leiter and I’m joined here by my colleague Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead fame. Today's episode includes a few moves made by teams trying to beef up their offense a bit...y'know getting more hits, since giving up walks isn't really that detrimental to the pitcher in the long run...wouldn't you agree, Butthead?

BH: Ehuh huh....Like, I can't see myself on the camera. Is there something wrong?

AL: Excellent insight as always. So my dear Letiheads, let's start with what was probably the most obvious move this week: the flailing Darkpaws fired their thirdbaseman Mike Lowell and opened up a lot of cap to upgrade some pieces of the offense. 

ADDED

3B Hank Blalock

DH Ken Griffey Jr. 04

1B Brad Fullmer

RP C.J. Nitkowski

DROPPED

3B Mike Lowell

DH Marty Cardova

1B Carlos Rivera

RP Lance Carter

AL: As stated earlier, you might have guessed that Lowell was on his way out, after only managing 2 RBI's in 7 games this season despite his 610 point salary. Replacing him at thirdbase is the strong left handed hitter Hank Blalock, who was actually claimed by another team this week, but the Darkpaws were able to grab him due to their last place record. Blalock is definitely a defensive downgrade and a hitting downgrade on paper, but he's a respectable replacement and gave the Darkpaws the flexibility to make the other moves. DH Marty Cordova's second stint with the Darkpaws was very brief, only 3 games in which he had only one single hit and a boatload of strikeouts and double plays. Replacing him is Ken Griffey Jr. 04, who joins his older brother as the presumptive long ball specialists on this team. We'll see if he can bring some life to his brother who has only 2 homers so far this year and really hasn't even walked all that much...not that that would have been a bad thing...but I digress. The long time Melmegetian Marauder Brad Fullmer was added to play first base and represents a good upgrade over Rivera (0 RBIs in 7 games) as well as good point value. Finally, relief pitcher Lance Carter was also given a pink slip officially to "make cap room." But a little reading between the lines shows that GM ALLIED_MASTERCOMPUTER might have been upset with his behavior in the latest game against the Spartans in which he beaned Charles "You Have No Idea What You Just Did" CJ Johnson, unarguably a stupid and unprofessional move. After all, he could have just thrown behind him a few times and walked him...nothing wrong with giving up a walk everyone once in awhile. Don't you think that would have had the same effect, Butthead? 

BH: Uhhhhhh...one time I asked Todd what a nematode is. Then he kicked my ass...huh-huh, ehuhuhuhuhh.

AL: Okayyyy...moving on to the Green Sox!

ADDED

C Brent Mayne

DROPPED

DH Doug Mientkiewicz

AL: So it looks like the Green Sox got burned enough times with Jorge Posada's only +5 catcher ability. Needing someone with a bit more of an arm behind the plate, the team has made the interesting move of transferring Posada to DH duty and adding Brent Mayne as a defensive upgrade. Mientkiewicz, who played for both the Green Sox and Z-Slayers in years past, has never been the same since his breakout year in Season 3, where he hit a career high 4 homeruns and 15 RBIs. But I could see him catching on with another team down the stretch, wouldn't you also say Butthead? Might be a good fit for someone like the Darkpaws or Meow Meow Dui even?

BH: Uhhhh...I think the cameraman just like walked away or something. I still don't see myself, ehuheuhuhu.

AL: ...well if he want's to walk, that's his prerogative. At least he didn't double away! Or god forbid homer away! Well my dear Leitheads, that just about covers it for this edition. After the break we will be back doing the play by play for the Battle of the Basement Dwellers, when the Darkpaws take on the Bombers....until then..."We'll leave the LEIT on for you!"

Series 4 Finale!

RED 3, TEN 2  F/14

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9……….14

RED        0              0              2              0              0              0              0              0              0            1

TEN        1              0              0              0              1              0              0              0              0            0

W – Wagner (1-0)                   L – Foulke (0-1)             

Game 2 of this series was exactly as anticipated: epic. Both teams looked strong early, generating multiple scoring opportunities, but eventually only walking away with a 2-1 score at the end of three. Both starters  got out of their respective jams, but both had big help from their defenses, killing more than one rally with a double play. Green Sox starter Kazushisa Ishii earned his second quality start and pitched well through seven, but was yanked after he gave up  a leadoff double in the top of the 8^th. For the Aces, the veteran and long time Red Clay Ace Ben Sheets was his usual reliable self, pitching six very strong and after early troubles only gave up a solo homerun to J.D. Drew in the fifth. At this point this became a battle of bullpens, with both teams clearly hungry for the win. Mike Remlinger made his first appearance of the year for the Aces and pitched the seventh; he handed the game over to Paul Quantril who pitched the eighth and ninth, who handed the game over to Travis Harper, who pitched the tenth, eleventh, and part of the twelfth before giving way to the closer, Billy Wager. The Green Sox bullpen stayed right up there with them, with Danny Graves pitching the eighth and ninth and Keith Foulke holding down the fort for four innings. He allowed the leadoff runner on in the top of the 14^th, so despite his really excellent performance, he was tagged with the loss when his replacement Danny Patterson surrendered and RBI single later in the inning to Aces catcher A.J. Pierzynski (his 2^nd RBI of the game, but only his 3^rd so far this season). This completed the sweep for the Aces, who now ride with a bit of momentum into another tough series against Meow Meow Dui. Tenbil Town, on the other hand, while disappointed with how the games eventually turned out, have to feel at least a little encouragement that they were able to go toe-to-toe with one of the best teams in the league and kept both games within one run. Before their next series against the Queynos Warriors, the Green Sox have announced that they will probably be making a roster move, but didn’t elaborate further on any details.
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BOB 11, AXN 2  F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9

BOB        1              0              1              0              0              0              6              3              0            

AXN        0              0              0              0              0              0              1              1              0   

W - Tom Glavine (SS) - (1-0)                   L - Wood (02) - (0-1)

 The first six innings of this contest were hard fought, with rookie pitcher Tom Glavine (SS) giving up only one hit while his rival Kerry Wood managed to limit the Bobians to only two runs despite working into trouble in multiple innings. The Spartans did an excellent job early of running the basepads, with the team racking up a whopping seven stolen bases. The game looked to be a classic Sparten nailbiter until Kerry Wood ran into some trouble in the top of the seventh, and allowed the Spartans to rally for three runs with two outs. Vladimir Nunez entered the game for the Darkpaws and was totally ineffectual when it came to stopping the bleeding, allowing the Bobians to blow the game wide open. The rookie Nunez, who was recently signed to shore up the shaky bullpen, has given up at least two runs in every appearance he’s made thus far. Tom Glavine went on to give up a few more hits, two of them being solo shots to Ken Griffey Jr. and Mike Lieberthal, but these two runs were an afterthought after the Spartan offense had run up the score. Darkpaw reliever was Lance Carter was also unable to close the flood gates and surrendered a few more runs in garbage time. Unfortunately the Darkpaw frustration boiled over and Carter intentionally beaned the Spartan spiritual leader Charles “You Have No Idea What You Just Did” CJ Johnson. Things got ugly, as Johnson charged the mound and got to Carter before anyone could stop him. As a result, Carter ended up hospitalized with a broken arm, while the ump allowed Johnson to take his base in the interest of time. Thankfully the benches did not clear, but this clearly leaves bad blood between the teams. For the Bobians, Johnson’s performance in combat was representative of the team’s performance as of late: two consecutive sweeps, their most recent win being one of the biggest blowouts of the year, and most importantly their new players performing at an elite level. When you look at the STATS, it really becomes clear how much credit is due to Ronde Barber: Ichiro now leads the team in RBIs and has 5 in his last two games; Luis Aparicio is now tied with teammate Juan Pierre and another player for most stolen bases in the league; Roy Halladay and Tom Glavine pitched two of the best performances year to date in their first career starts. Now just a step behind the lead of Division 1, they move onto a very intriguing series next against Division 2 leaders, Mao’s Tycoons. The Darkpaws, on the other hand, have more than a broken arm to deal with; their season is in the midst of having its back broken under the weight of a 1-6 record. General Manager ALLIED_MASTERCOMPUTER was reportedly furious not only with his team’s performance, but also with the unsportsmanlike conduct that his team displayed towards the end of their last loss. He announced that at least three players will be losing their job as a result of the team’s performance, but it remains to be seen if there are changes that can turn the former champions around. Rumor has it that one of the players on his way out is 3B Mike Lowell, who has only 2 RBIs so far this season. Additionally, this would free up a lot of cap room for the team to make some moves. Stay tuned for the next Leit’em Up Roster Report for details.
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QEY 2, MMD 3  F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9

QEY         0              0              1              0              0              0              0              1              0            

MMD      0              1              0              1              0              0              0              1              0  

W - Rodgers (2-0)                  L - Lopez (0-1)                        S - Foulke (3)

Meow Meow starter Kenny Rodgers faced the potent Z-Slayer offense in his last start, and if that wasn't enough, had to face the very dangerous Warriors lineup in this game. He earned quality start in both games, only allowing 3 runs in sixteen combined innings against two of the leagues hottest hitting teams. Aside from an Ellis Burks double in the third and a Frank Catalonotto solo shot in the eighth, Rodgers was largely untouchable. So it also went for the Queynos starter Matt Morris, who cut down the already somewhat pathetic Meow Meow offense through seven strong. But Meow Meow RF Eric Chavez definitely had Morris's number, taking him deep for solo shots twice as well as tacking on another double and a walk. The homers were the only source of Meow Meow runs until Javier Lopez was called on in relief for the Warriors in the 8th. He quickly worked himself into trouble, and wasn't able to work out of it unscathed; Meow Meow 3B Ryan Freel knocked in his first RBI of the season, the go ahead score in this one. Coach Taklamente turned the one run lead over to the closer Keith Foulke in the ninth, who notched his league leading third save. After the game, Coach Taklamente noted that it was good to see someone step up an take offensive leadership of the team, complimenting Eric Chavez for hitting his third homerun in as many games, but that this team still needs to improve offensively. Known for publicly trash talking players that don't perform, this time 1B Scott Hatteberg was the target of some rather harsh rhetoric from Taklamente, who publicly threatened him with termination if he didn't learn to run faster.          

Series 4 Part 3

STL 1, MEL 12  F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9

STL         0              0              0              0              0              0              0              0              1           

MEL       5              0              5              0              0              0              2              0              0              

W – Redman (1-1)                   L – Morris (1-1)                 

It was open season on Cardinals starter Matt Morris, who was knocked around for 10 runs just through three innings, the worst starting performance thus far this season. Half of the runs came from a cha-cha line of base hits and walks with the bases loaded, while the other five were contributed by an Adam Kennedy double followed by a Scott Rolen three run homer. Morris was pulled in the third, which did not bode well for the already overworked Cardinals bullpen. That being said, the combined effort of Dave Veres, Russ Springer, and Jason Isringhausen finished the next six innings only surrendering two more runs. For the Marauders, starter Mark Redman was decent but not spectacular through seven, but still managed to keep the Cardinals off the board despite various opportunities. In the top of the ninth, the Cardinals were able to load the bases with nobody out, but only managed to score one run before the game ended. Doctor Vindaloo stated after the game that his Tikka Mesala party will only happen in the event of a sweep (to the strong disappointment of John Kruk). He also announced that Melmegetia Municipal Stadium will be unveiling a giant Shiva Nataraja statue just beyond the right-center field wall that will light up with actual fire whenever a Marauder hits a home run. For the Cardinals, things have been eerily and uneasily silent. The team’s general manager is currently managing from prison while awaiting trial, so it is unsure exactly what he is thinking. In any case, his team has been the most inconsistent in the league, looking like potential champions one day and helpless idiots the next. While they are tied for fewest homeruns in the league, they are the only team in which only one player, Larry Walker, accounts for all their team’s homers.

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ZSY 7, LIN 3  F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9

ZSY         0              1              2              0              0              0              0              0              4           

LIN         0              0              0              3              0              0              0              0              0              

W – Rincon (1-0)                   L – Karsay (2-1)                 

Unbelievably, the Z-Slayers are now tied for the league lead in quality starts, although at the time of this writing they have played one game more than the Spartans of Bobia. This has been perhaps the biggest surprise of the season thus far; three members of the rotation (Kip Wells, Runelvys Hernandez, and Zach Day) are all having career years for a team that was expected to be near the bottom in terms of pitching. In this game Zach Day worked with a lead for most of the game after the Z-Slayers collected on a 3B Jeff Cirillo solo shot in the second and a 2 run top of the order rally in the third. Day surrendered three runs in the fourth, two of which came off of a Rondell White homer. Day left the game upon completing the six without giving up any other runs, which matched the effort put in by the crafty Lindsyan starter Esteban Loaiza, and surely delighted the Z-Slayer faithful. Loaiza also recovered nicely after trouble in the second and third, and looked just as good as he did when he faced the Bobians in his first start. The Z-Slayers must have been nervous when it became apparent that this game was going to be a test of bullpen strength; Tuldarian long reliever Ricardo Rincon entered in the seventh and pitched two excellent innings, but it wasn’t immediately clear who the Z-Slayers would be able to turn to next. For the JELLY QUEEN DREAM TEAM, the best reliever in the league thus far took the mound in the form of Steve Karsay. He pitched a 1-2-3 eighth inning, but ran into trouble in the top of the ninth. With runners on first and second, Z-Slayer Carl Crawford brought both baserunners home with his first triple of the year. Following the big hit, Steve Karsay appeared to have an argument with his catcher Victor Martinez, as they apparently were mixing up signs. Karsay was visibly frustrated, and threw something of a tantrum in front of the whole stadium. But this didn’t resolve anything; Jack Wilson stepped up to the plate and Karsay threw his first pitch without bothering to follow his catcher’s signals. Wilson hit the high fastball all the way over the furthest point of the centerfield wall, adding another two runs to his team’s lead and another two RBI’s to his MVP-like STATS. Rincon pitched his third scoreless inning in the bottom of the ninth to earn the win. Overall a very tough loss for the JELLY QUEEN DREAM TEAM, the sweep by a division rival raising some questions about internal team morale. The Z-Slayers improve their division record to 2-1, and have scored four or more runs in five of their seven games. As stated earlier, the surprise performance by the pitching staff has made this a team to watch, but there are rumors that they are on the free agent market and actively looking for trades. Is there a possible GM assignment or coaching staff addition on the horizon as well?
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TYC 6, MAX 3  F

                1              2              3              4              5              6              7              8              9

TYC         0              1              1              0              3              0              1              0              0           

MAX       1              1              1              0              0              0              0              0              0              

W – Trachsel (1-1)                   L – Franklin (0-2)                 S – Kolb (2)                 

After a very disappointing first performance, newest Tycoon Steve Trachsel made his team very nervous in the early innings of this one. He walked away from a no out bases loaded jam only giving up one run in the first, thanks to very great defensive play. He was basically equally shaky for the rest of the game and was assburned twice by Richie Ashburn, who drove in two of the three Bomber points, in addition to notching his league leading sixth stolen base. Although Trachsel earned the win, he did not get the quality start because he was pulled at 5 1/3 innings after the speedy Delino “Delicious” Deshields reached scoring position.  For the Bombers, Ryan Franklin was his typically mediocre self; actually pitching well most of the game but making several huge mistakes that eventually cost the Bombers the game. He surrendered the first homeruns of the year to both Giambi brothers, who heretofore had been very quiet this season: Jason was a solo shot in the second inning, while the reigning MVP Jeremy Giambi took Franklin long for three RBI’s in the fifth. After that, the Tycoons never looked back. All Star reliever Shingo Takatsu entered the game and made the Bomber lineup look foolish for 2 and 2/3 innings. Danny Kolb got back on track after blowing the save in Game 1 of the series by going 1-2-3 in the bottom of the ninth. Interesting to note that this was the first game that the Maxion closer Mariano Rivera made an appearance in; he has not had a save opportunity yet. Six straight losses will do that to a closer.

Series 4 Part 2

LIN 3, ZSY 4 F

                               

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9
LIN	0	0	0	0	1	0	2	0	0
ZSY	2	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	1

W – Paterson (1-1)                   L – Nen (0-1)                                     

Nobody really had any high expectations for the Z-Slayer pitching staff, but through three and a half series their starters have posted some of the best results in the league: They have the second highest ratio of quality starts in the league, only behind the Spartans of Bobia. Last night’s game was a continuation of this phenomenon. However, the contest was temporarily delayed when a westerly wind blew a cloud of Zachrian gas into the concession stands. After the cloud dispersed and the affected fans were flown by chopper to a medical facility, and the two Division 1 rivals were ready to play ball. Runelvys Hernandez built off of his excellent shutout performance against the Melmegetians by pitching six solid innings, only surrendering a solo homerun to LIN 1B Doug Mientkiewicz and being tagged for a second run after reliever Mike Myers allowed a runner to score that Hernandez had left on base before exiting in the seventh. On the flip side, Lindsyan Scott Schoenweiss improved over his disastrous first outing, but still did not inspire much confidence in his performance in this one. Although he only gave up three runs early on and eventually earned the quality start, he really struggled through most innings and was pitching in danger through most of the game. The Lindsayns mounted a comeback in the seventh against former Darkpaw reliever Mike Myers (has the curse of Foulke stayed with him across teams?), who blew a two run lead thanks to clutch RBI’s from Jeff Cirillo and Manny Ramirez. As seems to be the theme this series, both teams mobilized their bullpens for extra inning affairs but the home team made those preparations superfluous. In his first appearance of the year, Robb Nen was welcomed to his second inning of work by a lead-off double from Carl Crawford, who then easily stole third. Two batters later, the solidly consistent Jack Wilson brought home the winning run with a single.  After the game, a video went viral of LIN GM Jelly Bean  slapping the Lindsyan owner when questioned about the game.

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MAX 4, TYC 5 F

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9
MAX	0	0	0	0	0	2	0	0	2
TYC	0	0	0	4	0	0	0	0	1

W – Kolb (2-0)                   L – Urbina (0-1)                    Blown save – Kolb (1)

As announced in the latest Kruk Bucket report, Randy Johnson and John Kruk faced off in charity at bat before the game, video posted below. After the opening Kruk-Johnson challenge, the weirdness continued all night in this game. Maxion starter Omar Daal began the game pitching three perfect innings, but might have been abducted and replaced by an imposter in the fourth, based on how awful his meltdown was when he surrendered a three run homer to Fred McGriff. For McGriff, who is having a career year despite having one of the lowest salaries in the league, is now near the top of the leaderboards for both RBI’s and homers. The real Omar Daal must have returned because, strangely enough, pitched a perfect fifth and sixth immediately following this. Tycoon starter Brad Penny was fine through seven, alternating between strong and weak innings, eventually giving up two runs in a sixth inning Bomber rally. Both bullpens took over after the seventh, leading to Tycoon closer Danny Kolb to take the mound in the top of the ninth. With two outs, the hot hitting DH Edgar Martinez launched an upper deck bomb which tied the game at four. The Maxions had an opportunity to drive in the winning run, but could not after Jeff “Automatic Out” Kent put the kibosh on that one. Still, the wind seemed to be totally removed from the Tycoon sails after this. Both teams mobilized their bullpens, but they ended up having to sit down again right away when Tycoon CF Grady Sizemore ended the game with a solo homerun. Bizarrely, this resulted in Tycoon closer Danny Kolb getting credit for the win even though he blew a save. This game was certainly a bizarre one, but bizarre would be a good way to describe the Tycoon season thus far, despite the fact that they sport the best record in the league.

As a result of this challenge, Randy Johnson has requested that Kruk make his $1000 charity donation to Lord Mao’s Fight Against Obesity (LMFAO).

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MMD 2, QEY 0 F

                               

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9
MMD	0	2	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
QEY	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

W - Schilling (2-0)                    L - Rodgers                       S - Foulke (2)

In classic Meow Meow fashion, they squeaked out just enough runs for their elite pitching to win the game. Curt Schilling went seven strong, while Dan Miceli closed out the 8th for the hold, and Keith Foulke finished the ninth for the save. Kenny Rodgers pitched very well for the Warriors, his only major mistake coming from a curve ball the hung just a bit too long in the second, that the slumping Eric Chavez used to belt out of the park for two runs. The rest of the game was rather boring, truth be told. Besides Rodgers working out of a seventh inning jam, there really wasn't much offense for the rest of the game. While this is a disappointment for the Warriors, one wonders when Meowth will start to look for other offensive options, especially given the veteran talent currently in the free agent pool.