MAX 4, MEL 2 F
W – Daal (1-2) L - Beckett (1-2) S - Rivera (2)
Two of the most lackluster teams in the league took to the field in this one, eager to pick up some wins to make a late season playoff push. The Bombers were the first try strike with a three run rally in the second inning, the big hit coming in the form of a Bengie “Don’t Make Fun of My Speed” Molina double, which knocked in his 9th RBI of the season, second best on the team. Corey Koskie and Edgar Martinez also had RBIs, while Richie Ashburn notched the first of his two stolen bases in this contest. On the flip side of things, Bombers starter Omar Daal had his best performance of the year, going seven and one thirds strong innings. The second straight good performance from Daal definitely gives some hope for this team’s rotation going forward. Vindaloo’s team did not go down without putting up a fight, however. Daal allowed the leadoff runner on in the eighth before eventually giving way to reliever Ugueth Urbina, who gave up a series of hits to the heart of the Marauder order. When things were said and done, the Marauders had added two runs thanks to big hits from LF Brandon Larson and DH Frank Thomas. Melmegetian reliever Juan Acevedo ran into some trouble himself in the top of the ninth, but was relieved by Latroy Hawkins who managed to escape from a bases loaded one out jam. But the Marauders could do nothing with their last chance in the ninth, as the game was closed out by Mariano Rivera, who earned his second save on only just his third appearance this year. The Bombers have to be happy with their performance in this one, as all parts of the team did well. Dr. Vindaloo, however, is nervously looking over his shoulder; a loss next game would switch his team’s position in the standings with the Bombers, leaving them in the basement of Division 2.
----------------------------------------------
AXN 1, LIN 3 F
W – Schoenweiss (1-2) L - Wood 02 (0-2) S - Karsay (1)
Lindsyan starter Scott Schoenweiss dominated the Darkpaws for six innings, surrendering only 4 hits and a walk during that time. His opponent, Kerry Wood 02, also pitched well but got burned three times in the middle innings; he gave up a solo homerun to Manny Ramirez in the fourth, an RBI double to 2B Brian Roberts (who is in an absolutely vicious competition with BOB 2B Marcus Giles for Division 1 All-Star) in the fifth, and an RBI double to Manny Ramirez again in the sixth. Steve Karsay entered the game in relief of Schoenweiss in the seventh, and pitched three solid innings of relief to earn a save. He did have a scare in the eighth, however, when the Darkpaw offense was able to string together a few hits and score a run. After the game, the JELLY QUEEN was quite happy with her team’s performance, particularly with Manny Ramirez. Although she just kept saying “BRAKOW!” an interpreter insisted that she was trying to express the idea that a hot hitting Manny would be essential for the team to claw its way (no pun intended) back into playoff contention. As for the Darkpaws, speculation is building that long-time starter Kerry Wood will be leaving the team at the end of the season to possibly join an expansion team.
--------------------------------------
TYC 2, RED 5 F/17
W – Harper (1-1) L - Ryan (0-1) Blown Save - Quantril (1)
Fighting for dominance of the Pee Wee League, neither team really looked like a Division Champ in this one. Both starting pitchers ran into trouble in the first inning, and both worked out of their respective jams with one out or less. For the next seven innings, both pitchers pitched quite well, allowing a runner to reach scoring position every now and then but also getting their fair share of 1-2-3 innings. It also must be said that the lack of runs is also due in large part to the incompetence of the offensive units, who had awful rolls the entire night. As for the starters, Kerry Wood 04 was solid in his first start as a Tycoon, going seven strong but allowing a run in the sixth and another in the seventh, both due to bases loaded walks. His rival, Aces starter Josh Fogg, was just a bit better, also going seven innings but not surrendering a single run. Fogg was relieved in the eighth by Paul Quantril who proceeded to blow the hold (and save) by surrendering a two run homer to reigning MVP Jeremy Giambi. After that, the game went through another eight innings of absolutely shameful offensive performance, without either team scoring. As one of the longest games in league history, this obviously took a toll on both team's bullpens. For the Aces, Quantril pitched one inning, Shingo Takatsu pitched four, Billy Wagner three, and winning pitcher Travis Harper did two. For the losing Tycoons, Trevor Hoffman pitched one, Danny Kolb pitched three, Shingo Takatsu also pitched four, and B.J. Ryan, already used twice in a row, surrendered a three run walk-off homer to Aces firstbaseman Jason Giambi to end the game. Interestingly enough, this was the first loss all year assigned to a Tycoon reliever or closer. This result certainly puts the pressure on the starting pitchers for Game 2 of the series; the edge definitely goes to Tycoon starter Brad Penny, who has been known to complete games. The Aces will send the always reliable Ben Sheets to the mound, who although a very reliable starter, is typically a six inning pitcher.
Welcome to Episode Six of the Kruk Bucket; I’m your host John Kruk. Well what an amazing series we just completed…I kind of have the same feeling when you just finish Mee Maw’s Meatloaf…that was just too good, you know you’re going to be disappointed with whatever comes next! We sure did learn a lot this series…that the Z-Slayers mean business…that the Cardinals really are schizo…that the Warriors definitely still have some fight left in them…and that Division 2 is one of the most shameful things that I’ve ever seen before. Speaking of shameful, I was in Tycoonia covering the game last week. Remember all the threats that I’ve received from Tycoon fans? Well take a look at this video taken by a fan as I left the stadium; despite the best efforts of some Tycoons, there was a crowd of Z-Slayer fans that overpowered them in their own hometown. Now onto the rankings!
1. BOB (0) Sure, they took a loss to the Cardinals, but that isn’t scaring me off the bandwagon. With all four of their starters in the Cy Young discussion, I really don’t think any team has been better positioned down the stretch. Note that although the win streak officially ended at 9, the quality start streak lives on. Although rarely used, they have one of the best bullpens in the league, with both Rollie Fingers and Buddy Groom performing at an All Star level. Now some say that the offense has problems. To that, I say hogwash. This team isn’t designed to be scoring five runs each and every game. Instead, they manufacture runs when they need it. Luis Aparicio is still one of the most versatile players in the game, and there is enough decent hitters behind him that usually someone is on a good streak. I definitely have my eye on Travis Hafner as we approach the playoffs. The veteran has been with the team since the beginning and has been a quiet, but effective leader. Not to mention the fact that Ronde Barber knows what he’s doing; perhaps he had an initial overreaction to the loss, but expect a few tweaks in the coming games. If he can find a way to reignite Ichiro, I think this next series against Meow Meow Dui will go very well for them.
2. ZSY (+1) Albert Pujols, Ralph Kiner, and Jack Wilson have a combined 45 RBIs. They’ve scored 44 runs during their current five game winning streak. I’m going to let that sink in for a moment…this team is an offensive juggernaut, but what’s more, the starting pitching has been consistently good thus far this year. That was not a part of the plan when the team started the season, but a very welcome surprise! Kip Wells is another pitcher into the Cy Young discussion, the only pitcher to be sporting a 4-0 record at the moment. But I’m seriously questioning if that can be kept up for the rest of the year or even into the playoffs. Also the bullpen is another weakness that the team has managed to dance around more or less successfully so far this year. But what will happen in a playoff scenario when this team gets into a late inning slugfest? I really do think they are a shoe-in for the playoffs, but the jury is still out on how they would do once they got there.
3. MMD (-1) Blueberry frosting or classic strawberry…two flavors of Pop Tarts, but ultimately the same product. That’s how I’m feeling about this upcoming series between the Spartans and Meow Meow Dui. Both teams very focused on the starting pitching, while the offenses runs a run manufacturing strategy. That being said, the team is in an interesting situation at third place in Division 1. Their remaining schedule is a mix of intense division match-ups (BOB and ZSY) and very easy wins ripe for the picking (MAX, AXN, MEL). Depending how they perform over the next couple series, they could very easily find themselves winning the division. On the other hand, should they stumble, both the JELLY QUEEN DREAM TEAM and the Queynos Warriors are hungry for that last playoff spot and are pushing with all their might to get in.
4. RED (0) Last update I predicted a bumpy ride in the second half for this team and well…let’s just say the second half started really bumpy, in the form of an embarrassing sweep at the hands of the Warriors. The clear issue with this team has been the pitching, both starting and relieving. Personally, I think the team needs to make a move because their current staff clearly aren’t cutting it. The do get decent run support, so I can’t lay any blame really on the offense. And the bullpen is starting to show some signs of cracking after being relied upon a bit too heavily. Their remaining schedule is one of the toughest in the league, with their next three series against TYC, ZSY, and BOB in that order. I don’t see them going better than .500 across that stretch with their current ball club. The team can hit, but if Ishmael von Corrin doesn’t want to slip out of the playoff picture, he’s gotta make a change.
5. QEY (+4) This team showed some real heart last series against the Aces; clearly the new GM and management team has injected some energy into this team and is moving them in the right direction. The middle of the lineup is hotter than Aunt Jemima’s pancake griddle on Sunday morning, with Ellis Burks, Cliff Floyd, and Frank Catalonotto creating some very dangerous waters for opposing pitchers to navigate. Of late Floyd has been particularly good after struggling very badly at the start of the season. We’ll see if the team has what it takes to keep up the momentum; I’m not sure if they can next week against the Z-Slayers. Even a split series would be welcome for the currently fourth place team, but should they drop two, could they recover in the last stretch of the season? Their last games of the year are against the JELLY QUEEN, which could prove to be the most important series of the year for them.
6. LIN (+1) Upon entering the easiest stretch of their schedule, the Lindsyans got off on the wrong foot by dropping a game to the lowly Bombers. They bounced back with a solid win in game two and are looking to forward that momentum in their next two games against the last place Darkpaws. Moises “Piss Hands” Alou and team would definitely consider anything less than a sweep a disappointment, as this is their only “easy” matchup left this season. In the hyper-competitive Division 1, Jelly’s team are in a desperate dog fight with the Warriors to not be the “good team” that gets shouldered out of the playoffs. With the Warriors on a bit of a hot streak, the Lindsyans really need the offensive sparks to fly once more. Left fielder Manny Ramirez was an early contender for MVP, but he’s been almost silent since the midpoint of the season. Rondell White has been picking up some of the slack, but the rest of the team really needs to wake up and give the pitching staff some more run support. To repeat myself, this week is a big one for this team. A good result for them and a bad result for the Warriors (who will face the Z-Slayers) will have them much better positioned for the final push.
7. STL (-2) Although the team drops two spots in the Power Rankings, I think things are relatively stable with this team. While proving that the Spartans are not invulnerable, they extended their streak of splitting series to six straight. That being said, they didn’t look great, with the only real bright spot coming from an encouraging performance by starter Bud Smith. Aside from that the offense cooled off considerably and the already thin bullpen has stumbled twice in three games. But the way I’m looking at Division 2, if the Cardinals continue to play .500 baseball, they just might end up winning the Division. Anything can happen really, but with how the other teams have been performing, I have the feeling they will finish the year in first or second place. Big games this week against Edgar Martinez Jr. and the Green Sox, but I’m expecting another split.
8. TYC (-2) So it’s true that a Tycoons fan jokingly offered me a hot dog, but his own team offered him a kitty litter sandwich. Talk about a team in a death spiral: the team has been shut out 4 of their last six games and outscored 38-13 during that same stretch. The once proud starting rotation has been humbled for two cycles in a row, so there’s not even that to talk about. The only bit of hope for the team comes in the form of Kerry Wood 04, the former Darkpaw who pitched decently for that team with no run support throughout the year. I’m not sure he’s going to find much more with his new team. The Giambi brothers have been the biggest disappointments of the entire league so far this year, to the point it’s a miracle that this team even got seven wins. Fred McGriff started off the season red hot, but he hasn't had an RBI in over seven games. But of course in the madness that is Division 2, Mao’s squad is still in the running for a first round bye, which they could make a very strong case for if they can turn the ship around this week against von Corrin’s Red Clay Aces. You never know, they might end up being replaced by the Bombers.
9. TEN (+1) Well I suppose there were some signs of life after splitting the series against Meow Meow Dui, but the real big news is the addition of Edgar Martinez Jr., which I think is a welcome move by a team that has struggled to amass baserunners. Joel Piniero is off the team, which probably won’t have a huge impact on the starters, but may actually put some more stress on the bullpen since Piniero did eat up a lot of innings. Otherwise I can’t say that I’m feeling the excitement that a lot of people around the league seem to be having for this team. As I’ve said endlessly, anything can happen in Division 2 especially with the interesting opponents they have scheduled: STL, LIN, AXN, TYC, and finally MEL. Lots of winnable games in there.
10. MEL (-2) So it goes for the Marauders as well, coming off of a split series against the Darkpaws where Doctor Vindaloo’s ball club did not look all that strong. There’s just no pop there, no flavor, no Frank’s Red Hot Sauce…if you’ve seen the team play, they are pretty boring games. No offense to Doctor Vindaloo, but names like Adam Kennedy and Scott Rolen aren’t exactly filling up Melmegetian Municipal Stadium (the giant Shiva Natarajah statue in left field, now that's something to see). In my opinion, the team might be able to sneak into the playoffs if they perform at critical junctures, such as their upcoming Division Series. They stumbled a bit against the Darkpaws, but could they assert themselves against the Bombers this week?
11. MAX (+1) To be honest, I actually like the Bombers this week when they come to rumble with the Marauders. Incredibly they too are in the playoff hunt and have been playing decently after snapping their eight game losing streak, going 2-2 over their last four games. Jeff Kent has powered the offense with a pair of homers during that stretch while Richie Ashburn continues to put together a decent season. The bottom of the order has also been a pleasant surprise with Delino “Delicious” Deshields and Bengie “Don’t Make Fun Of My Speed” Molina providing a decent spark to several rallies. Pitching isn’t quite what is used to be (especially the struggling bullpen) but it has certainly improved from the first half of the year. Playoffs certainly seem a long ways off for this team, but definitely don’t count them out yet.
12. AXN (-1) Although they have a better record than the Bombers, there really isn’t any path for the Darkpaws to make the playoffs this year. We saw that reflected in their most recent trade for Joel Piniero, a move obviously carried out with next season in mind. At this point they really could only play spoiler for other teams looking for easy wins. As the season progresses we count down the days until they are officially eliminated from contention. Is there also a timer counting down the days for GM ALLIED_MASTERCOMPUTER? There’s talk that the Darkpaws want to start fresh next year, so new management might be in the cards as well. Also interesting to note that it looks like Ken Griffey Jr. in all likelihood will not make the All Star team. This would be the first time he’s missed that award in his entire career.
That’s all for now folks. Thanks for tuning in and remember: when someone offers you a hot dog and their intent is malicious, just say no. When someone offers you a hot dog and their intent is delicious, just say yes.
W – Mulder (2-1) L - Buehrle (0-3) S - Spooneybarger (1)
A tale of two teams in this one: the struggling Aces on a three game losing skid going up against the very hungry Queynos Warrior team making an uphill playoff push. The Warriors offense kicked things off right away with a Cliff Floyd two run shot in the first; the very hot hitting third baseman Edgardo Alfonzo followed up with his own two run homer in the third. Warrior ace Mark Mulder had problems of his own early in this game, especially having problems with the bottom of the Red Clay order, surrendering a run in the second and a three run rally in the third. Aces catcher A.J. Pierzynski certainly had Mulders number, going 4-5 on the day with a homerun and three RBIs. Both pitchers appeared the settle down in the middle innings, until Mark Buehrle had an absolute meltdown in the sixth. After walking Michael Barrett, he surrendered a triple to Luis Castillo, who was brought home next at bat by an Ellis Burks homerun. Cliff Floyed then stepped to the plate and then belted his second homerun of the day. To really put some salt in the wound, the next batter, Frank Catalonotto, also homered. That ended Buerhle's day, and possibly his tenure with the Aces . Mulder continued to have problems, surrendering another two runs before being pulled in the seventh. Old reliable Tim Spooneybarger entered the game for the Warriors in the eighth and slammed the door on the Aces offense, going two strong innings to earn his first save of the year. Definitely a coup for the ascendant Warriors, who have recovered nicely after having been swept by their Bobian division rivals. The reigning Division 1 champs face a very uphill battle to climb back up into the playoffs, but they could not have begun their ascent in any better way. We'll see if they can keep their momentum next week, as they face an incredibly difficult and high stakes matchup against the Z-Slayers. New head coach Kalaby Jaby has already labeled it as a "do-or-die" series. As for the Aces...well yuck. With an unimpressive 7-6 record, they still sit atop Division 2, or the Pee Wee League as some have begun to call it. Very nervously they are looking back over their shoulders and seeing that they are only 4 games ahead of the last place team in the league. With 9 games left in the season, this Division is still entirely up for grabs. Next up is an equally crucial matchup against Mao's Tycoons. Will the team be able to assert themselves as the Division Leaders, or will this ship continue to spiral downwards? Very interesting questions that do not have an answer as of yet.
-------------------------------------------------- ZSY 9, TYC 0 F
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
ZSY
0
2
0
2
1
0
1
0
3
TYC
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
W – Wells (4-0) L - Johnson (1-2)
The Tycoons headed back home looking to avoid a sweep at the hands of the Z-Slayers as well as turn around the ship after a string of particularly bad games. Things did not get off to a good start for starter Randy Johnson - and they never really got any better. Ralph Kiner knocked in a run with a triple in the second, and was brought home on the next pitch thanks to a Paul Lo Duca single. The Z-Slayers rallied again in the fourth, bringing home another two runs off the bat of a Ralph Kiner double and a Ken Harvey single. Smart base running from leadoff man Carl Crawford and a clutch double by Juan Pierre helped the Z-Slayers manufacture yet another run in the fifth. Meanwhile on the other side of things, Kip Wells continued his career year, knocking down Tycoon batters without really ever getting into danger. Albert Pujols belted a solo shot for the Z-Slayers in the top of the seventh; folks, that's his fourth homer and ninth RBI in two games. Pujols also flashed some leather in the bottom of that inning, providing the +1 fielding that was needed to turn a double play. To make the night all the more memorable, Ralph Kiner stepped up to the plate in the top of the ninth, a home run away from being the first player in league history to hit for the cycle. While many others have gotten to within one at bat of achieving this, Kiner swung for the fences and succeeded where so many others had failed, knocking a B.J. Ryan fastball just over the right field wall. This three run shot put Kiner at 5 RBIs on the night and 14 total for the season. The cherry on top of this massive cake was Kip Wells going the distance, completing the game after throwing nine innings of shutout baseball and earning his league leading fourth win of the season. Full spectrum dominance from the Z-Slayers in this one, as this team is firing on all cylinders at the moment. Not so much for the hapless Tycoons, who have been shut out four of their last six games (yes, you read that correctly). The Ghost of Mao has come under intense criticism from the press for not addressing the worst offense in the league and instead only making changes with the pitching staff. They have a very difficult matchup with the Aces next series, a series in which the world hopes someone will show up to take the lead in Division 2. For now, the Pee Wee League is just a complete mess. --------------------------------------------
BOB 2, STL 3 F
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
BOB
0
0
2
0
0
0
0
0
2
STL
2
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
1
W – Isringhausen (1-0) L - Seaver (1-1) Blown Save - Isringhausen (1)
One way or another, a streak was coming to an end tonight. Early on, It looked like the Super Saiyan version of the Cardinals showed up; Edgar Renteria kicked off scoring in the bottom of the first, taking the Tom Seaver deep for a two run shot. But Seaver very quickly recovered from that, giving up only another three hits over the next eight innings while racking up 11 strikeouts. Cardinals ace Bud Smith had his best performance of the year, being fairly in control for six shutout innings against a confused looking Bobians offense. So it went up until the ninth with not much going on offensively on either side. Cardinals closer Jason Isringhausen was going for a two inning save when he surrendered a two run shot to Travis Hafner, which tied the game at two runs apiece. Hafner has easily been not only the hottest Spartan hitter of late, but also the most clutch with a few instances of late innings heroics. But in a twist of fate, Seaver stumbled in the bottom of the ninth when Larry Walker 04 lofted a 3-2 fastball into the right field corner, bringing home the winning run and ending the Spartans winning streak at nine. Although this win doesn't change anything in the standings, Spartans GM Ronde Barber was apparently furious with his team's offensive performance and reportedly threatened to fire several players. During his press conference however, he very calmly explained that he would consider tuning the batting order as a result of the loss. They have a big matchup next week against Division 1 rival Meow Meow Dui. As for the Cardinals, add this game to the pile of evidence that this team is capable of anything. They will attempt to cement their place in the standings next week when they take on the Melmegetian Marauders, who are hot on their heels.
AL: Hey all you Leitheads out there! Welcome to the third installment of the Leit’em Up Roster Report. I’m Al Leiter and I’m NOT joined here by my colleague Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead fame. Today's episode includes a few interesting moves that I'd like to-
(Butthead runs into studio sweating profusely) BH: Umm...Al... AL: GODDAMMIT BUTTHEAD, why don't you show up five minutes earlier or twenty minutes later? BH: Uhuh...uhuh uhuh...I was like...amm...going for a walk. AL: Oh... *eye twitch*coughs*straightens papers*...oh, ok. That's...well...ahem...fine...so what's up? BH: Uhuh huhu uhuh, the producer asked me to give you this. *hands over paper* (Al Leiter reads) AL: Ladies and gentlemen, this episode just became the most interesting one of the year. We have our first trade of the year, featuring a former Cy Young winner, as well as a landing pad for Edgar Martinez Jr.!
Traded Traded SP Joel Pinero to the Darkpaws for SP Matt Morris Added 3B Edgar Martinez CF Jeffrey Hammonds Dropped CF Steve Finley 3B Adrian Beltre AL: At first glance, the Darkpaws certainly thought that they were getting a good deal; Matt Morris has been quite solid for them (2-0 with 3 quality starts), but they would be sending him to the Green Sox for the infamous two time Cy Young Winner Joel Piniero (1-3, only 1 quality start) who has struggled with his new team. But this was a deal strictly to make cap room; not only do the Green Sox add the solid Morris to their rotation, but this gave them enough room to sign the sought after Edgar Martinez Jr., coming out of nowhere to win the sweepstakes for the new phenom. Another casualty to make cap room was centerfielder Steve Finley (1 HR, 6 RBI) who has largely had a disappointing season. He'll be replaced by Jeffrey Hammonds, a former Tycoon who has spent much of his career as a pinch hitter. We'll see what he can do with his first starting gig. Going back to the Martinez question, this is a potentially game changing move. Tenbil Town has struggled this year putting men on base, which has been devastating for a home run hitting team like the Green Sox; so many of their homeruns have been solo shots, simply because nobody gets on base. Putting an on base 15 player right in the middle of the lineup might just change that. The three batters that will follow him in the lineup (Jorge Posada, J.D. Drew, and David Ortiz) have a combined total of 12 homeruns this year. The race for that third playoff spot is so tight now, I think this is a huge move for all of Division 2.
Traded Traded SP Matt Morris to Tenbil Town for SP Joel Piniero Added SP Mike Maroth Dropped SP Kerry Wood 04 AL: The Darkpaws were generally considered to be the leading team in the running for Edgar Martinez Jr. But a trade that seemed to be too good to be true resulted in them missing out on that opportunity. In order to make room for Piniero, the team dropped Kerry Wood 04 (0-3, 2 quality starts) and added rookie Mike Maroth to replace him. Its unclear is Piniero will return to Cy Young form with another new team; its also strange to see a former Zachrian now pitching for one of his country's biggest rivals. Nevertheless, analysts across the league are wary about this move for the Darkpaws; their pitching has been fine this year, the real problems have been with the offense. Does it make sense to cut two good pitchers for a potential has been? Time will tell. Possibly this is a move that will position the team for a complete rebuild heading into next season.
Added SP Kerry Wood 04 CF Kenny Lofton 3B Adrian Beltre Dropped SP Steve Trachsel CF Grady Sizemore 3B Corey Koskie AL: Mao watched these moves with a keen eye, and used the opportunity to keep good players from being unemployed for a very short time. First, Kerry Wood 04 was added; he has perhaps been the most tragic pitcher this season. Although he has an awful 0-3 record with the Darkpaws, he's actually pitched rather well and has had perhaps the lowest run support in the entire league. He will now beef up an already impressive Tycoon starting rotation as the number 2 between Randy Johnson and Brad Penny. To make room for Wood, former Darkpaw Steve Trachsel was dropped, not surviving his first season with the Tycoons. Furthermore thirdbaseman Corey Koskie (1 HR, 3 RBI) and CF Grady Sizemore (1 HR, 4 RBI) were also cut after very disappointing performances. The bottom of the Tycoon lineup has been a death trap of double plays and stranded base runners. To shake that up, Mao opted to pick up Adrian Beltre, recently dropped by Tenbil Town. Beltre, who has been very streaky, has 2 homeruns, 1 triple, 1 stolen base, and six RBIs so far this year. To replace Sizemore, Mao tapped the rookie Kenny Lofton an entirely unproven commodity. Similar to criticism of the Darkpaws, its unsure what this will do to wake up the struggling offense. Well folks, certainly an exciting chain reaction from a simple trade. My personal opinion is that the Green Sox are the clear winners here, but we shall see! Until then..."We'll leave the LEIT on for you!"
This game featured two of the most veteran aces in the league, but it certainly didn't look like it at first. Both pitchers ran into trouble early, although blood was only spilled in the top of the first when Mike Cameron knocked in his sixth RBI of the year. What followed through the early and middle innings were continued shaky performances with both teams getting hits in every single inning. There were also quite a few baserunning mistakes with Marauder outfielder Melvin Mora being tested multiple times, and throwing out three of four baserunners. Both Jamie Moyer and Barry Zito earned their third quality starts of the year. Dr. Vindaloo's team managed only managed to squeeze out a single run despite having the bases loaded and nobody out in the bottom of the sixth. Thus began a battle of the bullpen, with the Darkpaws turning to Vladimir Nunez and the Marauders going to Buddy Groom. Nunez was the first to stumble, allowing two hits in the eighth. Satoru Komiyama came in relief, but could not prevent a Frank Thomas RBI single. That proved to be the game winner, with Marauder closer Billy Koch making his third appearance of the year and slamming the door on his second save of the year. Vindaloo, while not ecstatic over such a narrow win, was glad to split the series with the Darkpaws. "Hopefully the Spartans put the Cardinals in their place," he said, "and we just do our business next week against the Bombers. And then we'll be in third place!" ------------------------------------------------ LIN 4, MAX 1 F
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
LIN
0
0
0
1
1
0
0
1
1
MAX
0
0
0
0
1
0
0
0
0
W – Beckett (2-0) L - Halladay (0-2) S - Nen (2)
Two veteran starters faced off in a game that could have an impact down the stretch: while the JELLY QUEEN is desperately trying to rack up wins during a soft part of the schedule, the Bombers are trying to put together a rally in the second half of the season that could in theory propel them out of the basement of Division 2 and into the playoffs. Always constant Lindsyan ace Josh Beckett was decent, but by no means dominating, working in and out of trouble most of the evening. However he was only tagged for a run once, when a series of doubles led to a score off the bat of Bengie “Don’t Make Fun of My Speed” Molina. But for most of the evening, most of the Maxion batters fared very poorly with runners in scoring position. On the flip side, Maxion starter Roy Halladay had one of his better starts of the year, but still is not pitching as well as he did in years past. The JELLY QUEEN DREAM TEAM rallied for runs in the fourth and fifth; Halladay surrendered a third run when Manny Ramirez hit his second homer of the year off of the first pitch in the top of the 8th. Perhaps Ramirez’s performance was the most encouraging sign for the Lindsyans, as the slumping left fielder went 3-4 and was a triple shy of hitting for the cycle. Mention should also be made of Brian Roberts, who went 4-5 with two doubles, notched an RBI in the top of the ninth, and ran the bases very effectively throughout the game. The Lindsyan bullpen continued their season long strong performance with Aquilino Lopez earning the hold in the eighth, and Robb Nen earning his second save of the year in the ninth. Although the JELLY QUEEN DREAM TEAM cannot be happy with splitting a series with the lowly Bombers, they definitely averted a major disaster with a win here. They will look to get back on track and pick up some wins next week against the struggling Darkpaws. As for the Bombers, they have already labelled their next series against the Marauders as “must win.” A sweep of Dr. Vindaloo’s team would effectively take them out of last place for the first time this year. -------------------------------------------- STL 0, BOB 4 F
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
STL
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
BOB
1
0
2
0
1
0
0
0
0
W - Burkett (3-0) L - Ankiel (1-1)
John Kruk has always said that the Cardinals are a wildly inconsistent team, and that you never know which one will show up. Well, we got a very bad one tonight. The offense could barely string together anything remotely close to an offensive threat, consistently shooting themselves in the foot throughout the whole evening. That is not to take away from the performance of John Burkett, however; the Bobian veteran of four seasons is perhaps having his best year yet, tied for the league lead in both wins and quality starts. He shined very brightly through six innings of excellent work, surrendering only three hits and two walks. The Cardinals starter, on the other hand, found himself under siege the entire evening from the Bobian bats. Ankiel did well to work out of several jams throughout the night, but not well enough to prevent an efficient four run performance from the Spartans: Ichiro manufactured a run in the first thanks to excellent baserunning in the first; Marcus Giles and Mike Lowell both capitalized on Ankiel losing control in the third with bases loaded walks; Juan Pierre singled in the final score in the fifth. The Spartans throughout the rest of the game, but the Cardinals bullpen in the form of Dave Veres and Jason Isringhausen 03 managed to keep the deficit at 4 runs. But there was really no hope for the already hopeless Cardinals office after Rollie Fingers made his third appearance of the year, absolutely ravaging the Cardinals lineup for three innings and racking up an astounding seven strikeouts. A very impressive performance from the Spartans after a long break; they will now travel to St. Louis where someone's streak will be broken. The Bobians will seek their 10th straight wins while St. Louis will try to make it seven straight series without being swept.
Two of the most lackluster teams in the league took to the field in this one, eager to pick up some wins to make a late season playoff push. The Bombers were the first try strike with a three run rally in the second inning, the big hit coming in the form of a Bengie “Don’t Make Fun of My Speed” Molina double, which knocked in his 9th RBI of the season, second best on the team. Corey Koskie and Edgar Martinez also had RBIs, while Richie Ashburn notched the first of his two stolen bases in this contest. On the flip side of things, Bombers starter Omar Daal had his best performance of the year, going seven and one thirds strong innings. The second straight good performance from Daal definitely gives some hope for this team’s rotation going forward. Vindaloo’s team did not go down without putting up a fight, however. Daal allowed the leadoff runner on in the eighth before eventually giving way to reliever Ugueth Urbina, who gave up a series of hits to the heart of the Marauder order. When things were said and done, the Marauders had added two runs thanks to big hits from LF Brandon Larson and DH Frank Thomas. Melmegetian reliever Juan Acevedo ran into some trouble himself in the top of the ninth, but was relieved by Latroy Hawkins who managed to escape from a bases loaded one out jam. But the Marauders could do nothing with their last chance in the ninth, as the game was closed out by Mariano Rivera, who earned his second save on only just his third appearance this year. The Bombers have to be happy with their performance in this one, as all parts of the team did well. Dr. Vindaloo, however, is nervously looking over his shoulder; a loss next game would switch his team’s position in the standings with the Bombers, leaving them in the basement of Division 2.
Lindsyan starter Scott Schoenweiss dominated the Darkpaws for six innings, surrendering only 4 hits and a walk during that time. His opponent, Kerry Wood 02, also pitched well but got burned three times in the middle innings; he gave up a solo homerun to Manny Ramirez in the fourth, an RBI double to 2B Brian Roberts (who is in an absolutely vicious competition with BOB 2B Marcus Giles for Division 1 All-Star) in the fifth, and an RBI double to Manny Ramirez again in the sixth. Steve Karsay entered the game in relief of Schoenweiss in the seventh, and pitched three solid innings of relief to earn a save. He did have a scare in the eighth, however, when the Darkpaw offense was able to string together a few hits and score a run. After the game, the JELLY QUEEN was quite happy with her team’s performance, particularly with Manny Ramirez. Although she just kept saying “BRAKOW!” an interpreter insisted that she was trying to express the idea that a hot hitting Manny would be essential for the team to claw its way (no pun intended) back into playoff contention. As for the Darkpaws, speculation is building that long-time starter Kerry Wood will be leaving the team at the end of the season to possibly join an expansion team. 
Fighting for dominance of the Pee Wee League, neither team really looked like a Division Champ in this one. Both starting pitchers ran into trouble in the first inning, and both worked out of their respective jams with one out or less. For the next seven innings, both pitchers pitched quite well, allowing a runner to reach scoring position every now and then but also getting their fair share of 1-2-3 innings. It also must be said that the lack of runs is also due in large part to the incompetence of the offensive units, who had awful rolls the entire night. As for the starters, Kerry Wood 04 was solid in his first start as a Tycoon, going seven strong but allowing a run in the sixth and another in the seventh, both due to bases loaded walks. His rival, Aces starter Josh Fogg, was just a bit better, also going seven innings but not surrendering a single run. Fogg was relieved in the eighth by Paul Quantril who proceeded to blow the hold (and save) by surrendering a two run homer to reigning MVP Jeremy Giambi. After that, the game went through another eight innings of absolutely shameful offensive performance, without either team scoring. As one of the longest games in league history, this obviously took a toll on both team's bullpens. For the Aces, Quantril pitched one inning, Shingo Takatsu pitched four, Billy Wagner three, and winning pitcher Travis Harper did two. For the losing Tycoons, Trevor Hoffman pitched one, Danny Kolb pitched three, Shingo Takatsu also pitched four, and B.J. Ryan, already used twice in a row, surrendered a three run walk-off homer to Aces firstbaseman Jason Giambi to end the game. Interestingly enough, this was the first loss all year assigned to a Tycoon reliever or closer. This result certainly puts the pressure on the starting pitchers for Game 2 of the series; the edge definitely goes to Tycoon starter Brad Penny, who has been known to complete games. The Aces will send the always reliable Ben Sheets to the mound, who although a very reliable starter, is typically a six inning pitcher.
