League News Roundup 15 JUN 18

League News Roundup 15 JUN 18

Grievous Error: Melmegetian Marauders Not Actually Eliminated from Playoffs

It was reported several weeks ago that the Melmegetian Marauders were eliminated from playoff contention. With one game left in the season, a scenario has been discovered in which it is still possible for the Marauders to advance: if they defeat the Green Sox and are helped out by a loss by the Bombers. Should all these teams finish the season with 9 wins, the Marauders actually own the tie breaker over the Bombers, Green Sox, and Cardinals due to head-to-head record and divisional record. While Maxions and Tenbil Town still fully control their own destinies, the Cardinals are now officially eliminated with their most recent loss. If the Maxions and Tenbil town both win, then the Marauders will be eliminated and those two teams will head to a one game playoff. In response to this news, Marauder General Manager Doctor Vindaloo has banned John Kruk from Melmegetia Municipal Stadium for their final home game. Krukkie is now banned from two stadiums, the other being the New Z-Slayers Park. In his defense, Kruk said that he had been distracted by some kielbasa when he meant to say that the Marauders had been eliminated from winning the division, not from playoff contention. Kruk went on to say that since the Polish sausage was now lodged in his heart, the apology that he offered was truly "heartfelt."

Massive Rains Engulf Bobia for More than Six Months: Dulcolax Stadium in Great Shape

For more than six months the league was put on hold by monsoon like weather that made the Spartans vs. JELLY QUEEN game simply impossible. League rules state that the game could not be rescheduled and neither team consented to forfeit. Therefore the league enjoyed a several month hiatus before finishing off the regular season. Although the Bobian home field of Dulcolax Stadium was full to the brim several times with water, the incredible "flush" function installed by the good people over at Dulcolax kept the stadium in perfect working order. As a side note, the stadium recently announced several new concessions to go along with the Bacon Boutique and Bobby's Burger Palace: Cluckin' Bell, Dulcolax Emergency Care, Pizzeria Bobiana, Baconator's House of Bacon, and Crazy CJ's (Home of the Mad Burger). 

Taklamente Murder Investigation: Ohka speaks of "Mister B"

Former Zachrian Ace Tomo Ohka has officially confessed to the murder of Meow Meow Dui Coach Checko Checko Talklamente, but a shocking new detail has leaked to the press: Ohka insists that he did not act alone. Instead, he says that he was aided and abetted by a shadowy figure named "Mister B." No word yet on what role this "Mister B" played exactly, but an investigation has been launched into who this person might be. While Ohka insists that he himself has no idea who this person is, but suspicion is now cast upon all players, coaches, and personalities with a "B" initial in their name. Some of the most spoken about persons are Danys "Slapass" Baez (free agent relief pitcher), Benny (AXN first base coach), Ellis Burks (QEY CF), Bengie "Don't Make Fun of My Speed" Molina (MAX catcher), and Lance Berkman (league drunk), to name a few.

Series 12, Part 1: Two Bores and a Shock

AXN - 1   MMD - 7   F
W - Pavano (2-2)   L - Piniero (1-1)
MMD: Pavano: CG (4), ER
Piniero: 5 IP, 7 ER
MMD: Zaun: 2-4, HR (4), 2B, BB, 3 RBI (17)
MMD: Chavez: 3-5, HR (9), BB, 2 RBI (20)
MMD: Williams: 3-5, HR (1), RBI (6)

In a game with very little meaning, both teams send their ace pitchers to the mound, both of which happen to be former CY Young award winners. While MMD starter Carl Pavano looked like a Cy Young winner from the get go, former Zachrian Joel Piniero stumbled right out of the gate, getting whacked by Eric Chavez for a two run shot, his tied for the league leading ninth of the year. The MMD struck again in the third, when catcher Gregg Zaun crushed a Piniero fastball to deep center, bringing home three more runs. Piniero managed to limp through the fifth inning, but only after a small rally tacked on another two runs, one thanks to a Bernie Williams solo shot and a Scott Hatteberg RBI single. On the other side of things, Pavano pitched one of his best games of the year, only really getting into trouble in the sixth when Alyxian Omar Vizquel knocked in a run. Otherwise Pavano went the distance, pitching nine strong innings with relative ease against the Darkpaws pathetic offense. MMD is playing some of their best baseball right now, especially with an offense that is considered one of the hottest in the league. Combine that with an always deadly pitching staff, this team is in tip top shape for their playoff run. In their most recent four game win streak, they have outscored their opponents 25-7, lead by the very hot Eric Chavez and Gregg Zaun. At this point they will most likely be the number 3 seed in Division 1, but they can still sneak into the number 2 spot and secure home field advantage with another win and a Bobian sweep of the Z-Slayers.
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MEL - 9   TEN - 1   F
W - Moyer (2-2)   L - Beckett (3-1)
MEL: Moyer: CG (1), ER
TEN: Beckett: 6 IP, 8 ER
MEL: Jeter: 3-4, 2 HR (3), 4 RBI (9)
MEL: McGriff: 4-5, HR (3), 3 RBI (13)
MEL: Rolen: 3-5, HR (4), 2 RBI (11)

Although the Marauder's playoff hopes were killed a long while ago, this game found their opponents in the midst of a desperate playoff push. The game started off with two veteran dueling aces, stalwarts Jamie Moyer and Josh Beckett, both coming out of the gate rather strong. The Green Sox drew blood first in the third thanks to clutch hitting from Edgar Martinez Jr., his tenth RBI of the year. But Dr. Vindaloo's Marauders answered back with two bombs; Fred McGriff taking Beckett deep for three in the fourth and then Scott Rolen tacking on another two in the fifth with a long ball of his own. The Marauders were not finished though; shortstop Derek Jeter delivered yet another blow when he dropped a three run bomb in the sixth. He would go on to add a solo shot in the ninth. As for Moyer, he navigated through the very dangerous Tenbil Town lineup but did not give up any more runs. He seemed to get better as the night went on and dominated in the last third of the game, earning his first complete game of the year. Although Josh Beckett had not pitched all that bad in this game, he made three big mistakes that resulted in eight earned runs and easily his worst start of the season. It couldn't have come at a worse time for the Green Sox. In theory, the Green Sox can still lose their next game and make the playoffs (with two Maxion losses) but obviously a win in their last game would be a big help to their cause. As for the Marauders, I think someone forgot to tell them that they have been eliminated. The usually moribund offense has uncharacteristically outscored their opponents 20-1 over the past two games.
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LIN - 4   QEY - 3    F/13
W - Orosco (1-0)   L - Spooneybarger (1-1)
LIN: Beckett: 7 IP, 3 ER, QS (4)
QEY: Mulder: 7 IP, 3 ER, QS (5)
LIN: Cirillo: GW RBI (8)
LIN: Mientkiewicz: 2 2B, RBI (8)
QEY: Catalanotto: 3-4, 2B, 2 RBI (11)

In a game with almost no meaning for either team, Queynos starter Mark Mulder stumbled badly out of the gate, surrendering a three run rally before recording a single out. The big hit came in the form of a bases loaded double from Lindsyan slugger Rondell White.  Mulder did settle down after that and actually cruised through the next seven innings with relative ease. Although Mulder will in all likelihood not make the all star team, he did a very solid job this season of heading up the Warriors rotation. The same could be said for Lindsyan Josh Beckett, who was equally strong in his last start of the year. Instead of stumbling at the beginning of his evening, Beckett surrendered a three run rally at the end of his. The always clutch Frank Catalanotto lined a shot into the left centerfield gap and brought home two runners in scoring position. Two batters later, Sean Casey singled and brought Catalanotto home to tie the game. The began a battle of bullpens. For the Lindsyans, Steve Karsay pitched two strong innings before handing things over to Braden Looper who kept the Warriors off the board for three innings. After Looper, Lance Painter pitched two scoreless innings of his own. As usual, the Lindsyan bullpen lived up to its reputation as one of the better in the league. For the Warriors, Mike Timlin pitched one inning and was followed by a four inning performance by Sean Lowe. The always solid Tim Spooneybarger took over in the top of the 12th and pitched shutout baseball, but things didn't go that way in the 13th. After a lead off single by Brian Roberts, leadoff man Shannon Stewart doubled and Roberts wisely held at third with nobody out. He was brought home by a single from the next batter, Jeff Cirillo. Lindsyan reliever Jesse Orosco earned his first win of the year by finishing the bottom of the thirteenth. With this win, the Lindsyans guarantee a fourth place finish in Division 1. Unfortunately that's not a playoff spot, but with a win in their final game they can finish the season at .500. Oddly enough, a finish at 11-11 might have been good enough to have won Division 2, to put things in perspective. As for the Warriors, they are only playing for pride at this point (and to avoid the dishonor of finishing last).

Series 11: Eliminate and Survive!

TYC - 6   TEN - 0
W - Lopez (2-2)   L - Thomson (2-2)
TYC: Lopez: CG (1), 2 H, 0 ER, QS (3)
TEN: Thomson: 6 IP, 3 ER, QS (3)
TYC: McGriff: 3-4, 2B, 3 RBI (18)
TYC: Je. Giambi: 1-3, RBI (10)
TYC: Knoblauch: 2-3, BB, 2B, SB (8)

With a win in this game, not only would the Green Sox go up a game on the Tycoons and move into first place of the Pee Wee League, but they would also complete the sweep and gain head to head advantage over the Tycoons. Mao's team threatened early, with lead off man Chuck Knoblauch reaching third base with nobody out in the top of the first. However Tenbil Town starter John Thomson was able to keep him there and get three consecutive outs. On the other side of things, veteran Albie Lopez cruised through the early innings, allowing only two walks through the first six innings. The double play ball was both pitcher's friend in this one, but especially for Thomson who is an overwhelmingly ground ball pitcher. Thomson did stumble in the sixth, where a bottom of the lineup rally brought home three runs for the Tycoons. Thomson's night finished there, but Lopez was the real story in this game, only surrendering his first hit in the sixth. The Tycoons struck again in the eighth inning; with runners on first and second, Fred McGriff crushed a double deep into the right field corner. Catcher Joe Mauer scored easily from second, but third baseman Adrian Beltre attempted to score from first. The throw came in from right field just a bit late, and Beltre was able to slide in ahead of the tag. This represented McGriff's third RBI of the game and his career high eighteenth of the season, good enough to lead the Tycoons and be tied for third in the entire league. In many ways, he's basically carried the Tycoon offense this year with not much production coming from the Giambi brothers. In any case, this was more than enough for Albie Lopez, who completed the game, giving up only his second hit in the bottom of the ninth. This is a huge win for the Tycoons, who make it back to .500 and take command of Division 1. The division is so tight that nearly anything can happen, but so long as the Tycoons avoid a sweep next week against the Cardinals, their chances are looking very good.
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STL - 1   MAX - 3    F
W - Pettitte (3-2)   L - Ankiel (1-3)   S - Rivera (5)
MAX: Pettitte: 7 IP, 0 ER, QS (4)
STL: Ankiel: 6 IP, 3 ER, QS (2)
MAX: Kent: 2-4, HR (5), 3 RBI (12)
STL: Renteria: 2-4, 2B, RBI (14)
MAX: Ashburn: 2-3, BB, SB (16)

In a big game with big consequences, the Bombers got off to exactly the kind of start that they needed, with Jeff Kent belting his fifth homer of the year in the bottom of the first, bringing in three runs with the swing of a bat. Cardinals starter Rick Ankiel settled down after that, but had a lot of help from his defense, considered one of the best in the league. The same was true for former Cy Young award winner Andy Pettitte, who despite pitching seven innings of shutout baseball, was also very reliant on his defense to turn a number of double plays. The Cardinals loaded the bases no less than three times, but could not squeeze out a single run. Russ Springer took over for Ankiel and pitched scoreless eighth and ninth innings against a largely dispirited Bomber offense. The Cardinals bats definitely seemed more alive, with Maxion setup man Mike Stanton also struggling in the eighth and being eventually bailed out by a key double play. In the top of the ninth, the Bombers opted to go with closer Mariano Rivera to pitch tired for a second consecutive game. Rivera also struggled, and the Cardinals finally got on board with an RBI double from Edgar Renteria, who is making a very strong case to make the Division 2 All Star team at this point. With two outs and the tying run in scoring position, Rivera was able to strike out number three hitter Orlando Cepeda to end the game, earn the save, and secure the Bombers incredible fifth straight win. While the Bombers can clinch a playoff spot with a sweep of the Aces next week, another path to the playoffs would be a split with Red Clay and then a Marauder sweep of the Green Sox. Things are more complicated for the Cardinals, whose playoff hopes are by no means over. If they can win their final two games against Mao's Tycoons, they are in. If they split their series, then they will need to rely on an improbable Marauder sweep of the Green Sox in addition to a Aces sweep of the Bombers. If this same scenario plays out, but just with a Bombers sweep of the Aces, it would trigger a tie breaking game between the Cardinals and Aces.
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BOB - 5   LIN - 1   F
W - Burkett (5-0)   L - Rueter (1-4)   S - Fingers (2)
BOB: Burkett: 6 IP, ER 5 H, QS (5)
LIN: Rueter: 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER
BOB: Martinez: 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI (11)
BOB: Lowell: 2-5, 2B, RBI (13)
BOB: Fingers: 3 IP, H, 3 K, S (2)

Facing playoff elimination with a loss, the JELLY QUEEN got off to a rough start with fourth starter Kirk Rueter getting batted around by the potent Spartan offense, with big hits coming in the form of a Mike Lowell RBI single and a bases loaded double from Fredgar Martinez, both of whom have been very hot for the Bobians down the stretch. For the Bobians, starter John Burkett was as solid as he's ever been, navigating through the early innnigs with ease and coming up with huge double play ground balls right when he needed them. He got special help from his defense, with the amazing Luis Aparicio flashing the leather and making a play in the first inning that kept Lindsyan Shannon Stewart at third. Rueter improved after his bad first inning, and managed to skate by until the fifth, where he surrendered a solo home run to CJ "The Legend Yet Grows" Charles Johnson, his second of the year. Rueter was yanked in the sixth inning after enmeshing himself in a jam which was skillfully defused by the Lindsyan ace reliever Steve Karsay. It was in the bottom half where Burkett made his only big error of the evening, when JELLY firstbaseman Doug Mientkiewicz was able to loop an RBI double into the right field corner. Burkett kept the bleeding to one run however and secured an incredible 20th straight quality start for the Bobians. If Burkett was good, then Rollie Fingers was excellent, who took over for Burkett and closed out the game by pitching three dominant innings. For the Lindsyans, Steve Karsay was excellent putting in three scoreless innings. But his bullpen compadre Robb Nen continued to struggle, surrendering a run to the Bobians in the top of the ninth, thanks to a Luis Aparicio special in which he does an impressive Road Runner impersonation and turns a single into a triple. With this win, the Bobians not only secure the division and a first round playoff bye, they also secure the best regular season record in league history. Although the pressure is considerably lessened, their next series against the Z-Slayers will be watched very closely, as a potential preview of the Division 1 semifinal series. As for the Lindsyans, so ends their playoff hopes for this year. They will play a meaningless series to finish the year against the Queynos Warriors next.