Checko Checko Taklamente Found Dead; Murder is Probable
Meow Meow Dui coach Checko Checko Taklamente was found dead this weekend in what is being declared by the police to be a probable murder. The coach, who has lead his team to an impressive 9-5 record in their first season of existence, was known around the league as a hardliner, enforcing all sorts of strange diets and exercise regimens on his team, as well as several harsh punishments for players who do not perform. He made headlines earlier in the year for implementing a team policy that banned all Japanese and Korean players from joining the team. He was most recently in the news for being the first manager ejected from a game after contesting the use of a player during Series 7, which took place during the overseas promotional games in Germany. For now the police have stated that former Cy Young winner Carl Pavano is under investigation for the murder, although he has not been arrested. Pavano had a very difficult relationship with Taklamente after being publicly berated by his manager in the media after his games. He furthermore also had the very embarrassing experience of being forced to pitch an entire game without any bullpen relief as punishment for failing to achieve a quality start. This shock comes at a bad team for Meow Meow Dui as they are in a difficult series with the Spartans of Bobia, as well as struggling to hold onto a playoff spot with Division 1 rivals JELLY QUEEN DREAM TEAM and the Queynos Warriors both making strong performances to effect a playoff push. Stay tuned for further developments in the case.
Division 1 Secondbaseman All Star Race Takes on a Life of Its Own
An online entrepreneur has created a stock exchange in which users can buy and sell shares of Division 1 second basemen based on their chances of making the All Star Team. This is a competition that has been watched very closely from all around the league, to the point that folks are becoming eager to make a quick buck and cash in on the very close race. As it stands right now, Bobian Marcus Giles enjoys the highest stock price with the latest ticker quote coming in at $7.61. He’s followed closely behind by Lindsyan Brian Roberts, who stands at $6.10. The rest of the available stocks stand much further below with Ken Harvey (ZSY) coming in at $2.49, Luis Castillo (QEY) at $1.04, Mark Ellis (MMD) at $0.78, Luis Rivas (AXN) at $0.25, Jose Vidro (LIN backup) at $0.09, and Charles “Value Buy CJ” Johnson (BOB) at $0.02.
Lord Sith Still Yet to Make Any Public Statement; Concerns Some Fans in First Game
The newly announced head coach of the Z-Slayers still has yet to say anything in public. In fact, during his first game against the Queynos Warriors, Lord Sith was seen to be sitting completely motionless in the dugout throughout the entirety of the game. When the time came to bring in a new pitcher, GM Sinister made the trip out to the mound, a duty that is normally carried out by the coach. After the game, Sith was seen being carried into the clubhouse by several players at the direction of Sinister. This was eerily reminiscent of the way Sith had slouched over and said nothing at the press conference announcing him as coach. Although Sith was a controversial pick to begin with, this opens up a new controversy as to if Sith is indeed even still alive or if he is merely some kind of corpse or puppet. Sinister denied these rumors after the game, saying that Sith’s coaching was instrumental in the very close 1-0 win over Queynos, without giving any specific details however. With regards to Sith’s silence, Sinister said that the former gangster simply was tired and that he would be having press conferences of his own in due time.
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