League News Roundup 21 June

Checko Checko Taklamente Found Dead; Murder is Probable

Meow Meow Dui coach Checko Checko Taklamente was found dead this weekend in what is being declared by the police to be a probable murder. The coach, who has lead his team to an impressive 9-5 record in their first season of existence, was known around the league as a hardliner, enforcing all sorts of strange diets and exercise regimens on his team, as well as several harsh punishments for players who do not perform. He made headlines earlier in the year for implementing a team policy that banned all Japanese and Korean players from joining the team. He was most recently in the news for being the first manager ejected from a game after contesting the use of a player during Series 7, which took place during the overseas promotional games in Germany. For now the police have stated that former Cy Young winner Carl Pavano is under investigation for the murder, although he has not been arrested. Pavano had a very difficult relationship with Taklamente after being publicly berated by his manager in the media after his games. He furthermore also had the very embarrassing experience of being forced to pitch an entire game without any bullpen relief as punishment for failing to achieve a quality start. This shock comes at a bad team for Meow Meow Dui as they are in a difficult series with the Spartans of Bobia, as well as struggling to hold onto a playoff spot with Division 1 rivals JELLY QUEEN DREAM TEAM and the Queynos Warriors both making strong performances to effect a playoff push. Stay tuned for further developments in the case.

Division 1 Secondbaseman All Star Race Takes on a Life of Its Own

An online entrepreneur has created a stock exchange in which users can buy and sell shares of Division 1 second basemen based on their chances of making the All Star Team. This is a competition that has been watched very closely from all around the league, to the point that folks are becoming eager to make a quick buck and cash in on the very close race. As it stands right now, Bobian Marcus Giles enjoys the highest stock price with the latest ticker quote coming in at $7.61. He’s followed closely behind by Lindsyan Brian Roberts, who stands at $6.10. The rest of the available stocks stand much further below with Ken Harvey (ZSY) coming in at $2.49,  Luis Castillo (QEY) at $1.04, Mark Ellis (MMD) at $0.78, Luis Rivas (AXN) at $0.25, Jose Vidro (LIN backup) at $0.09, and Charles “Value Buy CJ” Johnson (BOB) at $0.02.

Lord Sith Still Yet to Make Any Public Statement; Concerns Some Fans in First Game

The newly announced head coach of the Z-Slayers still has yet to say anything in public. In fact, during his first game against the Queynos Warriors, Lord Sith was seen to be sitting completely motionless in the dugout throughout the entirety of the game. When the time came to bring in a new pitcher, GM Sinister made the trip out to the mound, a duty that is normally carried out by the coach. After the game, Sith was seen being carried into the clubhouse by several players at the direction of Sinister. This was eerily reminiscent of the way Sith had slouched over and said nothing at the press conference announcing him as coach. Although Sith was a controversial pick to begin with, this opens up a new controversy as to if Sith is indeed even still alive or if he is merely some kind of corpse or puppet. Sinister denied these rumors after the game, saying that Sith’s coaching was instrumental in the very close 1-0 win over Queynos, without giving any specific details however. With regards to Sith’s silence, Sinister said that the former gangster simply was tired and that he would be having press conferences of his own in due time.    

Series 8 Part 3: Last Call for Close Calls!

MEL - 10   MAX - 8   F
W - Groom (2-1)   L - Hasegawa (0-1)   S - Koch (3)
MEL: Redman: 6 2/3 IP, 5 ER
MAX : Franklin: 7 IP, 5 ER
MEL: Thomas: 3-5, 2 2B, 2 RBI (6)
MEL: Kennedy: 3-4, 2 2B, BB, 2 RBI (8)
MAX: Jeter: 1-4, HR, BB, 3 RBI (4)

With a win here, the ascendant Maxions could complete the sweep and finally move out of last place. Things did not get off to a good start for them however, with Melmegetian SS Derek Jeter taking starter Ryan Franklin deep on the first pitch of the game. Franklin continued to struggle early, surrendering a two run rally in the third. Melmegetian starter Mark Redman ran into some trouble at this time as well, giving up a two run rally in the fourth, thanks in part to good base running by Richie Ashburn and a clutch RBI double by Edgar Martinez, his team leading 11th RBI of the season by the way. The Bombers struck again in the bottom of the sixth, with their own SS Derek Jeter taking Redman deep for a three run blast, giving his team a 5-3 lead at that time. After Franklin allowed the first two Melmegetian baserunners on, the Bombers went to the bullpen and brought Shigetoshi Hasegawa into the game. Unfortunately for his team, he had a complete and utter meltdown, giving up big hits to Frank Thomas, Orlando Palmeiro, and Adam Kennedy. When the dust had settled, seven runs had come home in this hell inning, giving Dr. Vindaloo’s team a 10-5 lead. But this wild game was not over yet, folks. The Bombers fought back in the bottom of the ninth, loading the bases with only 1 out. Jeff Kent stepped up to the plate and hit a rocket down the third baseline that brought in two runs. Tony Clark was the next batter, and singled in yet another run. At this point the Marauders brought in closer Billy Koch to try and get out of the jam and secure the win. He walked the first batter Derek Jeter to load the bases again and set up the double play. However this proved unnecessary, as Koch struck out the next two batters in short order, earning his third save of the year. A very disappointing loss for the Bombers, who were so close to finally moving up in the ranks, and a desperately needed win for Vindaloo’s Marauders, who narrowly avoid a sweep at the hands of a team that they very well should have swept themselves. Both teams walk away from this split series highly unsatisfied; they both have very difficult matchups next week against the two of the Big Three in Division 1.
--------------------------------------------
QEY - 0, ZSY - 1   F
W - Day (1-0)   L - Morris (0-2)   S - Graves (4)
ZSY: Day: 6 IP, 0 ER, QS(4)
QEY: Morris: 6 IP, 1 ER, QS(3)
ZSY: Kiner: 1-4, HR(5), RBI (15)
ZSY: Pujols: 0-3, BB
QEY: Spooneybarger: 2 IP, 0 H, 0 BB

The miracle story continues; the team that was thought to have the worst pitching in the league has come up big yet again. Third starter Zach Day pitched brilliantly against the strong Queynos offense, going six strong innings and never really ever coming into danger. Despite this being his league leading 4th quality start in a row, this is only his first win of the season. After the sixth, he handed the game over to reliever Ricardo Rincon, who continued his excellent season with two shutout innings. In the ninth, Danny Graves made his second appearance in as many games to earn his fourth save of the year, tying him for the league lead. To talk about the other side of the coin for a moment, lets certainly give credit where it is due; opposing pitcher Matt Morris pitched a gem himself, matching Day inning for inning, aside from a solo homerun surrendered to Ralph Kiner in the second. Morris also got into a bases loaded jam in the sixth, but brilliantly worked out of it to prevent any further scores. It is to be noted that both teams played very well defensively in this contest, with players making some impressive plays to come up with difficult double plays, most notably third baseman Jeff Cirillo for the Z-Slayers and shortstop Carlos Guillen for the Warriors. The Z-Slayers cannot be happy with scoring only 4 runs in a series, but when your pitching has given you three straight shutout wins, I guess there isn’t a lot to complain about. Depending on how things shake out, the Z-Slayers could possibly clinch a playoff spot as early as the end of next series, in which they will try to keep their seven game win streak alive against the Red Clay Aces. As for the Warriors, this series was a very bitter pill to swallow, losing two crucial games by razor thin margins. Hope still springs eternal according to GM Mhassa Spellcaster, who was quoted after the game as saying “No, this result wasn’t ideal, but my team is still alive. And we are as hungry as a gnoll, which makes us very dangerous.” They’ll travel to Tycoonia next week to try to get some wins against the Ghost of Mao’s struggling ball club.
--------------------------------------------
LIN - 1   AXN - 0   F
W - Nen (2-1)   L - Kolb (0-2)
LIN: Loaiza: 7 IP, 0 ER, QS (4)
AXN: Maroth: 6 IP, 0 ER, QS (1)
LIN: Mientkiewicz: 1-5, RBI
LIN: Ramirez: 2-4, BB, 2B, R
AXN: Kolb: 2 IP, ER

Darkpaws starter Mike Maroth made his first start of his career, and definitely surpassed expectations. The Control 2 pitcher went six strong innings without really ever getting into trouble. His opponent Esteban Loaiza was as constant as always, earning his fourth consecutive quality start in a seven inning shut out performance. Surprisingly enough, he did not earn the win or the loss, keeping his record at an even 0-0 on the season. Loaiza did however work into trouble twice, facing bases loaded with only one out on two separate occasions. In both instances, the speedy Mike Cameron was on third, preventing an easy out at home. In both instances, second baseman Brian Roberts skillfully turned double plays to end the inning and prevent any runs from coming home. After both starters had done a hard days work, it became a scoreless battle of bullpens. Vladimir Nunez pitched a scoreless seventh for the Darkpaws and then turned it over to closer Danny Kolb, who finished the eighth. All Star and always reliable Jesse Orosco pitched the eighth for the Lindsyans. Danny Kolb came out to pitch his second inning of work in the top of the ninth. He surrendered a lead off single to Manny Ramirez, which became a lead off double after the power of silver slugger. Rondell White followed with a single, moving Ramirez to third. The silver slugger was a good move, because catcher Victor Martinez was the next batter, and promptly grounded out into a double play. That left Ramirez at third with two outs and Doug Mientkiewicz at the plate. Mientkiewicz hit a ground ball that barely got past the short stop and trickled into left field, just enough to bring Ramirez home. (Kolb had rolled a 17, which was a single only because he was tired in his second inning of work).  Lindsyan closer Robb Nen finished off the Darkpaws in the bottom of the ninth, completing the sweep of the series. While the JELLY QUEEN DREAM TEAM definitely are happy to be walking away with two wins, they only out scored the Darkpaws 4-1 over the last two games. That being said, they now enjoy a winning record and are very much alive in the race for a Division 1 playoff spot. Should Meow Meow Dui lose their next game, the Lindsyans will only be 1 game back of third place. As for the Darkpaws...not so much. It's possible that they will officially be eliminated from playoff contention as early as next series, which they will play against the Cardinals.