1. BOB (0) Now eight straight wins, and an even more impressive eleven game quality start streak? With a potential Cy Young candidate at every point in their rotation, they’ve been easily the best pitching team in the first half of the season. They’ve also been the best managed. So long as the offense is able to put up at least a few runs each game, I don’t really see any team being able to keep pace with them. And I think that’s quite manageable for an offense like this; Pierre and Aparcio have been so dangerous in those leadoff positions, and there always seems to be at least one player in the heart of the Bobian order who is on a hot streak. If Ichiro struggles, either Fredgar or Hafner are usually there to pick up the slack. And the bottom half of the lineup certainly contributes their pleasant surprises now and then. I like their chances of finishing the year at the top of the league. At this point, four games up on the 4th place team, I think Ronde Barber’s club is going to be playing mostly for that first round bye. One thing to note: their schedule is a bit tougher in the second half. In the coming weeks they will face the Z-Slayers, Meow Meow Dui, and the Red Clay Aces.
2. MMD (+2) If I had to pick a team that most closely follows the Spartan model (focus on pitching and coaching) it might be the Meow Meows. I have to say, I did try to follow Coach Taklamente’s diet plan that is a requirement for all his players, and I saw results right away. To correct all the weight loss, I altered the plan a bit and cut out all the tofu and steamed vegetables and increased my intake of dumplings and bubble tea. Crisis averted. But the plan seems to be working for this team, even if Taklamente isn't the easiest coach to play for. I’m particularly impressed with catcher Gregg Zaun, who hasn’t played in the league in a few years and has really assumed offensive leadership of this team. It should be noted that, like the Spartans, the defensive play has been rather good as well. They just barely eked out the sweep of the Lindsyans, but they did it in a way that showed true grit and character. All four starters have put up amazing performance after amazing performance. I like them for the same reason I like the Spartans, and I really do consider both of them shoe-ins for the playoffs.
3. ZSY(0) If you just looked at the team’s performance on the field in the first half of the season, you would probably never guess what a mess this team is on the corporate side. Ever since the un-exploded bomb from the Zachrian War detonated in their bleacher section, Z-Slayer Park has been totally neglected and fallen into even worse repair, as winds have pushed the Zachrian gas cloud further into the parking lot. Each day that goes by without a new owner pushes the struggling organization that much closer to bankruptcy. An equally unappealing option might be being owned by Red Clay Aces GM Ishmael Von Corrin, who still hasn’t received regulatory approval to bid on the team. Time is of the essence for them to get a deal completed, but I just personally hope that they don’t rush into a deal that is bad for the franchise and that is bad for the league. As it stands now, the team doesn’t seem to have much issue playing at the high school field. Albert Pujols, Jack Wilson, and Ralph Kiner are going to continue knocking in runs. The only real question in my book is if the pitching can repeat their first half performance in the second. To be honest, I don’t think so, not without some more solid footing as a franchise and perhaps a bit of coaching. Otherwise, this is totally new territory for these young pitchers, none of which have serious playoff experience.
4. RED (-2) Incredibly, the best team in Division 2 would probably not even make the playoffs if it was in Division 1. Don’t get me wrong, I still like the Aces (Ishmael’s “Going on Patrol” Burger has been the latest hit at his chain stores) but they just don’t seem to have that explosiveness that the Spartans, Meow Meows, of Z-Slayers have. Their latest series against the St. Louis Cardinals largely confirmed this. Von Corrin’s team isn’t particularly strong pitching wise (hence his repeated interest in a player like the Z-Slayers ace Kip Wells) and the bullpen has struggled somewhat of late. Of course still a strong team, but I have a feeling the second half of the year is going to be a bumpy ride for them. I would expect a GM like Von Corrin to be active down the stretch with roster moves, as there’s a few glaring issues that I think need to be worked out. Luckily they don’t have a whole ton of competition in Division 2 to be worried about.
5. STL (+2) Orlando Cepeda’s awakening is really just what this team needed. He had two homeruns and five RBI’s in the latest series against the Aces; combine this with Edgar Rentaria’s 8 RBIs on the season and the Cardinals have finally found some offense to back up Larry Walker, who is now intentionally walked with some regularity. Still, the team’s performance as a whole has been wildly inconsistent; they have split every series so far this season except for their first one against MMD. But as the offense more and more gets its act together, this team really will be a force to be reckoned with down the stretch. They’ve managed to gain on the second place Tycoons while putting a little bit of breathing room between the Marauders and Green Sox, both of which are nibbling at their heels. Of those three teams, I definitely like the Cardinals best but anything is really possible with them at this point…including crashing and burning. We’ll see if they can split their upcoming series against the Bobians; doing so would require stopping an eight game win streak.
6. TYC (0) Folks, the hate mail gets more intense each weak, but I’m not going to be bullied into increasing a mediocre team’s power ranking. They split their last series with the Marauders and looked downright silly in the game that they lost. The offense has been one of the worst in the league, with reigning MVP Jeremy Giambi putting up a pitiful 4 RBIs in the first half of the season (he had 15 at this point last year). The bottom half of the lineup has been an offensive desert as well, with Corey Koskie, Joe Mauer, and Grady Sizemore apparently forming some kind of double play club. The pitching is fine (just fine Randy, by no means great) so I won’t say this isn’t a playoff team, but I wouldn't be surprised to see them flip positions with the Cardinals in the second half of the year and end up being the team that has to fight for survival against the Green Sox and Marauders. Oh, and another thing. I’ll be paying very close attention to these rumors of a nest of Tycoon gophers under second base at the Z-Slayer substitute field. And I’ll also be paying very close attention to all these death threats when I make my trip to Tycoonia to cover the game. Just be warned that I carry a Viking sized chicken leg with me at all times. It is big enough to hit a four seam fastball with, if you follow my meaning.
7. LIN (-2) Every time I bump this team up in the rankings, they get swept. That’s really unfortunate, since this team probably has had some of the worst luck in the league so far this year: in a rational world this would comfortably be a playoff team, but in the competitive madness of Division 1 they find themselves out in the cold…and frightfully so. In the first half they certainly showed that they are a good team, but certainly not up to par with the Elite Three that currently at the top of Division 1. They could not capitalize on a golden opportunity to pick up some ground on Meow Meow Dui, and find themselves a full three games back from third place with limited opportunity for tie breakers. The team is certainly still not without hope, but there definitely is some pressure to get their act together soon as they begin the second half of the season with the easiest schedule in the league: they don’t play a team that has a winning record until Series 10. The starting pitching needs to remain tight, the bullpen needs to continue to step up (but not everything can continue to fall on Steve Karsay’s shoulders, as evidenced by his two latest losses), and perhaps most importantly, Manny Ramirez needs to absolutely wake up from his slump and return to the MVP like performance he started the season with.
8. MEL (+1) Their latest series against the Tycoons was a mixed bag, as both team experienced blowout losses. Dr. Vindaloo has made it clear that he’s not very interested in making roster moves, so it’s essentially up to the players he has now to improve their play. For sure Adam Kennedy, Scott Rolen, and Brandon Larson have all improved after rather dreadful starts, and will need to continue to do so to anchor the sometimes shaky offense. Also a little shakier than Vindaloo might like, the pitching hasn’t been exactly living up to Melmegetian tradition as of late, with some of the long time veterans having some rather ugly games recently (Mark Redman, Cliff Pollitte, to name a few). Although Vindaloo isn’t interested in adding new players, rumor has it that he will announce a new head coach in the coming weeks to try to boost performance. He has maintained that his coaches must all be of 2003 Edition just like his players, which limits somewhat his available options at the coaching position. I personally don’t know anyone who currently fits the bill so I’ll be surprised with whomever this announcement turns out to be.
9. QEY (-1) Much like the Lindsyans, this is a pretty decent team that made the mistake of being born into Division 1. Although they won the Division last year and haven’t been bad this year, they find themselves somewhat hopelessly down the standings in fifth place after being swept by the Spartans of Bobia. The Spartans did what they do best and almost completely neutralized the usually potent Warrior offense, only allowing two runs in two games. The top of the order has been as cold as a package of frozen White Castle burgers, with Luis Castillo and Carlos Guillen both failing to secure a single RBI in the entire first half of the year. More worrying is the recent lack of production from big hitters Ellis Burks and Cliff Floyd. If there’s any hope of a turn around here, the whole offense needs to contribute at once. The pitching has certainly improved as of late, so the team is by no means out of it just yet.
10. TEN (0) If morale couldn’t get any lower for this team, how does it feel to take a 11-0 beating at the hands of a team on a nine game losing streak? That's precisely what happened in their latest game against the struggling Bombers. Things are looking really grim for this team, both on and off the field; the search for a new coach and GM has been entirely unsuccessful, and rumors are starting to circulate that the locker room atmosphere is beginning to deteriorate. Former MVP J.D. Drew and former Cy Young Joel Piniero have both requested to be traded; Jorge Posada has publicly criticized Brent Mayne, who was recently signed to be the day-to-day catcher while Posada DH’s; Centerfielder Steve Finley has apparently gone on suicide watch after he was told that his job is currently in jeopardy. Things are certainly a mess here for the Season 3 Champions, but somehow they will be very much in the hunt for a playoff spot in the second half. Still plenty of time for them to get their act together, so I wouldn’t just be making any judgments yet. I do think the team is taking the right approach looking for a GM and Coach first; strong leadership is definitely needed to get house in order.
11. AXN (0) Not much to comment on here. After sweeping the Bombers, they didn’t put up much of a fight against the Division rival Z-Slayers. Ken Griffey Jr. continues to put up the worst numbers of his career while new comers Ken Griffey 04 and Brad Fullmer have done very little since arriving. Third baseman Hank Blalock has been decent, but his second half play might just be an audition for another team, if the Darkpaws are indeed interested in the Edgar Martinez sweepstakes. Might they try to use him in a trade at some point down the stretch? Might they also try to move some of their high priced starters elsewhere as well? Is Barry Zito available? Will ALLIED_MASTERCOMPUTER also use this opportunity to rebuild the coaching staff? All open questions.
12. MAX (0) That last win against the Green Sox certainly felt good. Beating them up by a margin of eleven runs certainly took a little bit of frustration out of this team. I didn’t realize it, but they are currently only three games out of third place in Division 2. That makes this team much more alive than I probably would have considered in the past. Could this Green Sox beatdown mark a turning point, from with the Bombers begin to climb through the ranks of Division 2? Certainly possible, especially with the way Edgar Martinez, Bengie “Don’t Make Fun of My Speed” Molina, and Jeff Kent have been hitting of late. But the rest of the offense has been rather dead and the starting pitching has been entirely lackluster. Also a complicating factor is the fact that their second half schedule is significantly more difficult than their first. I don’t see them clawing themselves out of the basement, but I suppose I should stop giving the impression that it’s impossible.Well that’s it for now, folks. Thanks for tuning in, and we will be seeing you in Tycoonia and Tuldaria this week. And don’t forget: VIKING CHICKEN LEG. COME AT ME BRO.
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