Leit'em Up Roster Report Episode 1

AL: Hey all you Leitheads out there! Welcome to the first installment of the Leit’em Up Roster Report. I’m Al Leiter and I’m joined here by my colleague Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead fame. We will be dissecting for you all the latest roster moves across the league, of course always bringing our expert analysis to the table. An expert analysis, I might add, that includes someone who was quite successful in his own right as a pitcher, despite all the claims from the peanut gallery that I had an issue with giving up walks. If I did give up so many walks, I must have been pretty darn good to keep that career ERA so low, huh? How’s that for expertise! So rest assured my loyal Leitheads, no peanut gallery commentary on this show! Anyway Mr. Head, shall we dive right into this?

BH: Heh heh…eheh heh heh…this is cool.

AL: Right, very cool. Let’s start off with the Bobians, who had a bit of a makeover despite returning to their winning ways last week against the Bombers.

ADDED

SS Luis Aparicio

RF Ichiro Suzuki

P Roy Halladay

P Tom Glavine SS

P Chris Mears

DROPPED

SS Angel Berroa

RF Lance Berkman

P Greg Maddux

P Tom Glavine

P Mike Stanton

AL: Some of these moves were predictable, but quite frankly, some others were totally out of the blue. Aparicio and Suzuki were badly needed to jump start an offense that really struggled early on, especially the top of the order. Look for Aparicio to shine as an all-around solid player, hopefully someone who could anchor the offense in a similar fashion as how Richie Ashburn does for the Bombers. As for the pitching, it’s surprising to see Ronde Barber tinker with something that seems to have worked well thus far. Halladay and new Glavine are certainly fine pitchers, as they both usually give up walks rather than big hits. Maddux pitched well in his first appearance, but gave up the same number of homeruns as he did walks (1). We’ll see if he catches on as a coach or ends up becoming the franchise star of a new team down the road. Mike Stanton, who hadn’t made an appearance yet this season, seems to be a victim of salary cap issue, as his replacement Chris Mears tends to surrender hits instead of walks. As for the hitters, Berroa was tied for the team lead in RBI’s but the shortstop position was too good an opportunity to pass up for Aparicio. Berkman’s future, however, is perhaps the most murky, as he looked downright awful in his first four games in the league. It’s been reported that he’s been missing since he was cut, so our thoughts and prayers go out to the Berkman family and the rescue team assembled thus far.

BH: Uhhhhhhhh…like, maybe he just went for a walk…or something…ahuh huh huh.

AL: A WALK? *eye twitch* Erm, ah let’s move along to the Darkpaws.

ADDED

DH Marty Cordova

P Danny Kolb

P Vladimir Nunez

DROPPED

DH Mike Piazza

P Shigetoshi Hasegawa

P Mike Myers

AL: Folks, you probably saw this one coming. With the Alyxian bullpen blowing the first four games of the season, it was just a question of who would be the sacrificial lamb to make cap room to improve the bullpen. Eventually it was Mike Piazza who will be thrown out, as a reward for his hitting a three run homer in the last game against the Aces. In any case, Mike Lowell must be breathing a sigh of relief, as his much higher salary could have opened up other doors for Darkpaw management to make changes. But Coach Gorrister will go forward with largely the same team with an improved bullpen that can hopefully minimize damage by converting opposing homers and doubles into walks and outs. Also reunited with the Darkpaws is Marty Cordova, who played on the Darkpaw championship teams in Seasons 1 and 2. Cordova, a free agent after playing for the Z-Slayers for the last two seasons, has good power but is prone to going on bad streaks. We’ll see if these moves are enough to turn the team around or if further changes are needed.  

Lastly, we turn to the Tuldarian Z-Slayers, who picked up a discarded Darkpaw reliever. Mike Myers was not out of work for long, as several teams immediately tried to acquire him.

ADDED

P Mike Myers

DROPPED

P CJ Nitkowski

AL: The Z-Slayers came into the season with the weakest bullpen on paper, so you can see why they would clamor after a reliever discarded by another team that has bullpen issues. Although Myers has 3 control and Nitkowski only has 1, I’m not sure if this was a good move. You see, 18-19 is a walk for Nitkowski but only 18 is a walk for Myers. That's a really risky tradeoff, in opinion. What is your opinion, Mr. Head?

BH: Eheh…eheheh…uhhhhh…I think they both suck…eheheheheh.

AL: Well Leitheads, that just about covers it. Hope you enjoyed the first Leit’em Up Roster Report, keeping you up to date with all the wheeling and dealing across the league. From beautiful Red Clay, this is Al Leiter and Butthead signing off, and saying…”We’ll leave the LEIT on for you!”